~You, Me and I ~

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by BubblyMartini, May 28, 2006.

  1. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM


    ~You, Me and I~

    There is a "We" between the World and "Me".
    i'd lie to you if i said it isnt true
    boon or bane i'll change
    sober awhile perky the other
    muffling the feelings inside
    speak to me and you'l hear me falter
    breaths may not tell how long one lives
    heartbeats maybe the knell each moment gives
    clinging onto me the night fades
    in want of a sunshine the new day awakes
    its said sometimes the words entwine the being
    sometimes the being dons the words
    life will go on
    days will pass you by
    living the words tattooed on the heart
    you know i'll never be the one for you
    someone said like flowers on a bough
    the smile on me glows
    belying its worth
    i still wont complain
    i'll stand by you, like i always do
    i dont have any more confessions
    dont give me more of your pretentions
    there is a "Me" between the "You" and "I"


    Do gimme your views whenever you read my poem
    And i'd appreciate honesty
    whether you like it hate it or feel it could've been better
    Let me know

    Thanks for reading:)
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    one word =wow ..............want to read it onse more..... reps added.
  3. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&amp;*$@*^$

    excellent overall .. though u seem to be at loss with the flow here and there, nevertheless great job ...
  4. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    nicely done!!!!
  5. nice one...deep thoughts...reps for sure...
  6. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    cant say that its one of ur best poems..but yes..its surely a good attempt.!! :)

    reps if i can
  7. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    thanks everyone

    would try and improve
    this was one of those poems where i hardly felt like redoing it

    thanks for reading..:)

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