Winter - New original

www.soundclick.com/thehundredthone

The guitar tone is slightly better than Hours, I used my amp's phones out successfully.
Hours was finger-picked though, this is using a plectrum. Not the plectrum of my choice, I was looking for a somewhat slim Fender .5mm but I've lost that one, this is a JIMM .7mm plectrum.

Do critique.

Lyrics:
The last leaf falls
Empty skies
Engulf all

With her lie
In the cold
We've arrived

Her eyes, an icy shrine
Her world's lost in time

Daylight bleak
The woods in fog
Trees they speak

Nights grow long
The quiet earth
Sleeps in song

Her eyes, an icy shine
Her world's lost in time

 

[Alert: Content Based on Opinion. It could just be me!]
The overall music feels barebones to me. Could do with a 'fuller' composition. The bass is either turned down really low, or isn't present. I feel it could've worked wonders in this (there are vestiges of it in the mix). A slight delay/echo could add to the feeling as well.

"The world's...lost in time" <-nice singing there. Can't say if I liked the "Her eyes" vocal slur bit. I like the music post 2:30, "happy -> sad -> happy" arpeggio. Neat. The outro after that really brings out a wintery feeling.

What could've made it better is 1. Smoother playing (portamento, is it called?) 2. Adding volume only where you want to emphasise the melody line (it's all picked like a melody line right now, the whole of the arpeggio.)

Overall? I feel this a pro-skill song...sadly not pro-feeling-inducing. Outro does the title justice at best.

 

I intended the sound to be barren, it fits the picture I'm trying to paint. I'm experimenting with a little layering to see if I can give the song depth without adding too many effects. There is no bass in this song, it was written for a lone guitar. There is a deep synth in the background that does a bass-like job.

Are you talking about glissando? This song is meant to be picked with a slightly thinner plectrum which unfortunately I don't have. I don't want to finger pick because I want the notes to be bright. I don't get the adding volume part. But I do think that the mids are drowning out some of the dynamics. I'll cut them a little more and see.

Haha well I can live with that. Can't expect everyone to like it.

Thanks for the feedback, I'll incorporate your suggestions and if I like the sound I'll make the changes permanent.

 

EDIT: Updated version of song is now up. A little layering, some change to the vocals.

 

Wow...

I can't even tell *what* change has been made (inexperience, inexperience)...Let me make a guess, synth sound boosted a bit, and the mids fixed (I couldn't even tell earlier that the problem was caused by the mids. Nib.). The melody line is a *lot* clearer now...

Awesome work! @_@

 

I think I'm more or less okay with the mix. I'm no master of mixing so there's probably a lot I can do to make it more professional sounding but then that's not the intent with which I started out. As long as the mix sounds good on speakers and headphones it's fine by me.

The guesses you made earlier are more or less correct. There's more going on under the hood, but see if you can make out yourself.