When you smiled at me!

When u smiled at me!

Its been long,
long enough that I cant remember;
wen was the last time,
when u smiled at me.

Wish I cd watch u,
watch u from far away;
giggling and chuckling,
and laughing with ur frends.

Now wen darkness falls,
and lights of "my hope" fades away;
I only wish for a miracle,
I wish that "my hope" never ends.

Wish I cd hear those words,
maybe only once.

Even now wen I think of u,
I think of flowers and breeze;
my heart races several beats,
and my face smiles on its own.

And then I remember,
you r not there its just a dream;
and I scream;
"Why me,Lord!! why me"?

I still cant forget that day,
wen I saw u last ;
walking down the aisle*,going away,
hence ripping me apart.

And then,
you came to me;
you smiled,yes u did,
tears in your eyes gleamed.

I pinched myself,rubbed my eyes,
but it was all real;
yes my love now I know
that was last when u smiled at me.

*aisle = Part of a church divided laterally from the nave proper by rows of pillars or columns where bride walks with her father during marriage ceremony.

(for the only one I ever loved)

 

hey...awesome poem...

 

@ pamposh... VERY NICE POEM MAN! :rock: but i am shocked that there's just 1 reply till now anyway... i just want u to know something... man u really rite well... but i would love to see u rite something other than just one topic : plzz take this positively but then again is just my advice... u r a great poet and u should keep riting but just on different topics everytime! u will surely rite well!

 

yes Hira u r very much right..iam restricting myself to only one side.
yes i wd write smthng diff next time..

mait thxs yaar.

as far as only one reply is concerned..i think poemsp osted by gals gets more replies.....LOL...just an observation.

 

u can only write gud on da topic which ur familiar with n been thru

nice one@walk_alone

 

good ...its kinda real story i feel......was to be told so written !

 

hey CASANOVA .... that was an awesome poem man ...

 

thxs guys

poetry is just an extension of a poet....a parallel life where he is a "God".

madhuresh,sanjy,nimitr...thxs for taking some time out and reading it.

 

what took you so long to realize the very truth of life....

 

atleast someone agrees with me...wat abt rest???

 

pleasantly melancholic poem..
sorry but thats how i see it :

i liked it.
how do i address you as..... walk_alone? ....is your name pamposh?
and if you can write on different topics its really good..

 

True expression of how you felt. Well done.
One suggestion... while posting a poem complete the words... its not chat .. like cd in place of could... The poem loses its charm and this causes a major distraction.

 

bubbly you r very much correct....till now i only write poem wen iam in gloomy mood so i foten come up with this kind of stuff but things are gonna change for sure.

varshita you are also right...wd ake care of that......errr i mean would...LOL.

 

I can jst imagine this quick transition.
Great peice. Subject and stryline is very good. And very realistic. Maybe if you sit this down one day and use deep symbolic words...big words..sensuous..instead of words like chuckling and breeze and I. Then you could really hit it home.

But other than that..its really fantastic. Good Job!

 

U r right petunia but the whole reason of using these kind of words is to make it as simple as i can...not all of us here are very sound in vocab(no offense).
if u read any of my poems thay all have very simple english words but point taken wd certainly work on it too..

 

Yea dude do that. but sometimes the simplicity is not as appreciated as one wud want it to be. and complexity gives it a pinch of sophisticatedness.

 

Things called dictionaries exist bro, dont curtail your poetic expressions by using simplified words or phrases, if people dont have a good range of vocabulary, they'll learn, you just do what comes to you naturally.

 

ok....guess would have to get my dictionary ready then...LOL

 

viva la thesaurus..*on word*

 

Or have people learning new vocabulary.