When is it my turn?

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by such is life, Nov 26, 2012.

  1. such is life

    such is life New Member

    This ones a doozy I know but the words just flowed out and i couldn't stop them
    This is something I wrote with my sister in my mind from her point of view...
    I don't think I could bear to show her it
    so yeah you lucky people get to enjoy it instead
    warped logic I know

    whats there left to fight for
    for everything i give
    people just want more

    more of my time
    an ear to confide in
    a place they are safe
    from the world they can hide in

    pretty little lies
    and jokes to make them smile
    stroking their egos
    all the while

    they ask me to run a mile for them
    ive already run 10
    but its just never enough
    when dealing with lives so rough

    so many problems
    can give you me solutions
    while inside my head
    feels like a mental institution

    but just listen as i bear my soul
    and make everything better
    and make everything whole

    they flock to me
    like lost little sheep
    too hurt and vulnerable
    for me to let them face defeat

    i get no apprieciation
    nothing to see me through
    but still i keep going
    i do it all for you

    seeking shelter
    i gave you a home
    then you betrayed me
    and blamed me
    while we fought on the phone

    when my mum died
    i was still there for you
    listened to you talk about the break up
    and all the hurt she put you through

    fighting back my tears
    the whole time
    you didnt make it to the funeral
    but you had exams and that was fine

    but i put everything aside
    to stop you falling into depression
    and you treated me like a counsellor
    and it was just another session

    even when you betrayed me with my sister
    when you knew just how close we were
    she was only seventeen
    just a little girl...

    i could have forgiven you still
    had you only stayed to fight
    but instead of trying to apoligize
    you chose self preservation and took flight

    i really should have seen this coming
    all the signs were there
    the little smiles and flirtations
    but i thought you wouldnt dare

    i thought our friendship was worth more to you
    than your own selfish needs
    but obviously thats not the case
    you were only too happy to leave

    the worst part is
    im really not surprised
    i know how your mind works
    and just how easy you can lie

    looking back now
    i cant believe i ever thought of you as my friend
    our relationship was so lopsided
    it was only a matter of time
    before it would end

    apart of me wishes i could regret
    all the time i put into you
    trying to help you
    with all the things you're going through

    when you never ever bothered
    to ask me how I! was
    to think that i had problems too
    and needed someone i could trust

    but i just dont have it in me
    to hate you
    all i ever wanted was
    for you to help me too

    ive spent my whole life
    putting everyone elses needs first
    please tell me
    is it ever going to be my turn?
     
  2. touching ... it smells of reality .. i love your kind of people ...people who can look thorough others :*

    never show it to your sis .. !!

    Ok on a literary note i feel the poem could have been more concise ... although this is a very decent effort but using a strong metaphor could have turned it into a fabulous literary piece, do give it a try again if u get time !!
     
  3. such is life

    such is life New Member

    thanks for the feedback
    dont worry i dont plan on ever showing it to her
    and I understand what you mean
    I'll probably end up going over it a million times making changes here and there
     
  4. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    it's good but quite lengthy...
     

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