Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by the_wizard, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    dedicated to Biswa


    Cryptu :p:

    WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South indian GIRL-FRIEND......

    Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or
    Madras /Anna University .

    Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

    She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well
    Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract
    coconut oil from her hair.)

    She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

    Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.

    Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname
    combined (unless you are from Andhra)

    When she mixes milk and rice you are never sure whether it is for the
    Dog or for herself.

    For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears
    silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while
    you are melting in your singlet.

    She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.

    Her favourite cricketer is Rahul Dravid.

    Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks
    like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation' )

    She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.

    She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based

    You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of
    it .

    Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn
    by WWF wrestlers.

    She is more educated than you.

    Her father thinks she is much smarter than you...

    EDIT...on Biswa's request

    1 At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.
    2 Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.
    3 By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.
    4 The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholesterol or chronic gas disorder.
    5 The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.
    6 You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandi that she applies to cover her gray hair.
    7 When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.
    8 You are a very "Especial" person to her.
    9 She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south India until she met you.
    10 When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "walk out".
    11 She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your hometown.
    12 The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you".
    13 She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.
    notty_lad likes this.
  2. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Good one.. :beer:

    Any south indian girl here :think:
  3. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    good one wizzy.. ;)

    @vishwa..yeah..we do
    our very own,..cryptic_angel...
  4. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned


    aaaaaab tera kya hoga Wizzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :beer:
  5. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    kuch nahi hoga...wo dilli mein hai :p:
  6. abhijitnath

    abhijitnath Fighting GAS frantically

    quite amusing
    reminds me of a fairly famous blog entry written by my flatmate..
    "The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" or "Why we don't get any..."

    Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)

    Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.

    Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.

    If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.

    Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention. The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut ****ney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)

    How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".

    Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.

    Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."

    In one last effort here we attractive young men have taken on alter egos which may interest some of you women:

    1. Gautam Kumar Raja, will now be known as Joshua Perreira
    2. Sidin Sunny Vadukut, henceforth will be known as Dev Chopra
    3. Ashwath Venkataraman is now Vijay Desai
    4. Sudarshan Ramakrishnan no more, from now he is Barath Sharma
    5. Gautam Chandrasekharan will now respond to Alyque Shah

    Do mail me any time for a meeting with one of the above. One week notice if Italian or Chinese food is involved, or if the individual is expected to dance.
    the_wizard likes this.
  7. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Is it so CRYPTIIIII ????
  8. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Koi chota verison available hai kya market mein ??? Plzzz tell me the summary.. once u r done
  9. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    LMAO :RollLol:

    whats his blog's address?
  10. tumhare_divya

    tumhare_divya luvs 2 luv...lives 2 luv

    ...ey vishwa...
    ...yes...i am from as far south as you can get...KERALA...and i found wiz's post hilarious...though i dont fit the descriptions given...AT ALL except for long hair...not oiled...lol... :shock: ...i found it so funny and true in describing my mom though...she does think mohan lal is ***y... :shock: ...and she loves jasmine flowers...
    I love the line:She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.
    i say yes to that one...i dont sing at the movies...but its highly tempting ;)
    ...basically i enjoyed it...i lmao ....big time...hmmm...i wonder what is stereotypical north indian characteristics...???? :think:
  11. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Screw north indians!!! :mad: Only good at bitching about other people (punjabis excluded, guess why):mad: :mad: What scientific inventions have north indians come up with (in the whole goddamn history of their's). Now dont say that were people who have no innovation in them. WE HAVE THE ALMIGHTY IDLI GRINDER :nw:

    But seriously (to whoever holds the copyright for this), nice stuff. Gives a good picture of what a chennai bred (No, only mailapur/mylapore/Mylapur) iyer/irengar girl used to look like about 30 years ago.
  12. harini

    harini Hameer Kalyani

    Whats wrong with jasmine flowers!
    Theyr so pretty!!
  13. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&*$@*^$

    Me a North Indian currently living in south India............

    and I guess most of 'em r true ..........

    neways ...nice one.......................
  14. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    well, it mayb true down south but i cant really say, i was born n brought up in delhi so m not like that.. it was funny anyways...

    but my mom came to delhi only after her marriage but she's not like that.. her hair is really short n she uses no oil.. hehe... and she's a total english romantic comedy movie buff so no mohanlal for her either... but i guess my mom's the odd modern one, at times she used to be the only one to wear trousers in her college in her days(at that time, it was a big deal :)) she was kinda the stylish one... so none of those things fit her either...

    and i'm not really fond of south indian food :phbbt: coz i'm so bored of it :(

    but i think the last 1 would be true but not just with my father if i were dating u wiz :grin:

  15. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!


    probably true...

    but i geuss sm of those thngs r true even now though, esp the sari thng (always baffles me :shock: )
  16. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned


    This thread is turning into north indian VS south indian.. so we shud stop here..

    well as far as beauty is concerned it doesn't have any geographical limitations..
  17. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    when did it turn into that??

    i didnt say anythng like that.. neither did any1 else.... and why would i, i live in delhi! :)
  18. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    Hey buggers along with this forward there was one about north indian girl friend too .... why is it not posted !!!!! Insecurity ??
  19. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    agree with vishwa..
    we have priyanka chopra from north..and rekha from south...
  20. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    who the hell said aish is from north !!!!!!! crap she is a bloody magalorian bunt .. she did schooling in managlore !!!!! same as sunil shetty and shilpa shetty ...
    The surname is pronounced wrong by all buggers .... its read as rai and not raai ........

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