We never had X

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by monica_decosta, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. Bump into each other, on a busy subway
    well his eyes are still same, but we never had xeS

    compromise for a coffee for the very next day
    conficting memories of each other, but we never had xeS

    play with the sparks, in each other's eyes
    then part looking back, but we never had xeS

    that youth, that smell like this coffee a delight
    run-back to our worlds, all ohh !! aah !! but we never had xeS
     
  2. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening


    hah, I liked it. The third couplet was brilliant. The fourth was rubbish and spoilt it a little for me.

    I can't help thinking I'd have liked it way more if you'd actually meant "X"es instead of what it means backwards. Xes would probably make me think of hugs (internet talk you know...xoxoxo) or maybe a darker interpretation would be Ecstasy.


    What was really refreshing was how different this was in from everything else posted here.
     
  3. thanks...........it says this ws too short
     
  4. distorted

    distorted satan

    Gud job....
     
  5. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening


    So is life. Why don't we have a minimum limit there?
     
  6. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    why we never had xeS?
     
  7. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    because we feared teh palC
     
  8. idefixé03

    idefixé03 New Member

    Hmm..the ideas was nice.. reads a like an english ghazal to me.
    but the thoughts really dont come through as well.

    Here's my version..this might give u an idea...Keep writing.

    “Bump into each other, on a busy subway
    his eyes still same, they never had xeS

    settle for coffee the very next day
    our memories conflict, did we ever had xeS

    just play with sparks, in each other's eyes
    guess it’s time, we better had xeS

    our youth never smelt the coffee, so strange
    now back to our worlds, aah !! we never had xeS”
     
  9. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^both seem 2 b very nice:
    good jobs both of u
    wel i liked th' idea of calling 'it' as xeS.....seemed bit refreshing
    :)
     
  10. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    no no, she called it xeS because the normal way gets censored.

    ***. see?


    or maybe writing it backwards implies doing it backwards? anal or a 69?
     
  11. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    or mebbe tht meant eXcEsS of ***
    lol....got censored again!
     
  12. what to say now, again thanx
     
  13. i liked it also, to be frank im like raw thoughts, those with un-ironed cloths and un-combed hairs... but sweet smart innocent....well thanks for ur version ... as all say its urs !
     
  14. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    d'ya hav a blog.......kinda where u'd put up all ur poems at 1ce


    or u cud do tht in here too...
     
  15. idefixé03

    idefixé03 New Member

    Hey thanx dear...I was just tryin to iron out the Sweet smart innocent raw thoughts...they certainly do have a spark..lets just say we just made some nice poetry.
    And ha...keep writin, having fun with words...read out ur poems loud..will help a lot to get a rythm/cadence going.
     
  16. idefixe ...thanks again ... i re do them for the songs... song is rhymed ... i feel if u create some thing its a responsiblity of urs to put it up for others to read...cause that is where u have got it from thus i penn & post !
     
  17. @horsemouth...lets say i want to post things and forget them ...let them be lost ... that gives me a kick ...vodka ...i wanna get doomed forgotten !!
     
  18. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    ^ i would still say that you should've had xes.
    Vodka can help only this much ...
     
  19. ^ abhi kya kar sakte hain
     
  20. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    xes.


    duh.
     

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