Untitled as of now

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by tejas, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Well, hello again. This one i wrote a couple of days ago. Didn't post it beacause i thought it was too raw. But now that i read it again, i feel the rawness is what makes it better. So here you go..By the way, i dunno what to call it, so help.

    Difficult to see you like this
    tears in the eyes that once brightened the bleakest of moods
    place myself beside you
    try as i may, can't find the courage that i must give to you

    Your silence, voices the obvious
    comfort others, suffer within
    wipe their tears, give them strength
    cry when alone, frail is hope

    Can't bear to watch you like this
    barely holding on, clutch it with all your might, you need to move on
    these wounds time will mend
    free of treason, but the hurt from within, seeks help from beyond

    We're all mortal by body
    the soul inside is eternal
    eventhough you note his absence
    inside you know, he's with you.....always....

    Finally you break your silence
    that assures me you've found strength
    from within yourself, share it with those around
    he'll be there to guide you, always watching over you

    There to right every wrong thats been made
    help your way through the thorns in your path
    face adversity, celebrate your triumph
    he'll be there to guide you, always watching over you...
  2. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    How come i wasnt the first to get to read this? You never showed it to me!:p:, Apart from that, very good poem:) Looking forward to more than you:)
  3. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    Excellent mate!

    I suggest the title "You....."

    Keep it up!

  4. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Thanks both of you. Sorry sharath, i just decided to post it now. Very instantaneous. And zoom, yeah the title sounds cool, mysterious. But im thinking, it might mislead people. Lets see. Thanks anyway.
  5. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    That's ok bro, was kidding, i read the poem over and over again. I found it very appealing.
  6. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    nice one tejas.....
  7. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    nice one, dude... waiting eagerly for you to title it... I usually title my poems b4 i write the first line even... just gives me the kicks.
  8. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    excellent work mate ... that was awesome... real beauty.. liked it very much..... Still untitled????
  9. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Thanks guys.

    @maverick - That somehow never works for me. When i do that i lose interest in the middle and stop it.

    @Rizaaj - Glad you liked it so much. Thanks. And yeah, its is still. Any suggestions?
  10. itsme_amit

    itsme_amit New Member

    well done tejas!..
    a very good poem..
    tiltle i suggest can be I'm WITH YOU..
  11. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Bad at suggesting titles, so i'll keep my mouth shut. But then, see bro, you're a good poet, you should write more often.(For all who dont know, tejas is an over-modest guy, please encourage him so that he continues writing these beautiful pieces of poetry).
  12. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    hey tejas , very good try , keep it up ...

    my suggestion " the only one "

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