I feel fortunate if I know the precious view's of you all friends. I know that I lack the poetic expressions. Your opinions surely will help me in rectifying my errors. Hope u read it. When I was on my way towards the goal of peace I came accross the battle-field where the human flesh cut into pieces The wind brought an awful smell of death The stream of the blood made my foot wet I thought some conqueror might have repaed the field At once I heard a cry in the midst of dreadful field calling me oh Master! the commander, save us! distured my soul with the whole scene of half-dead mass I got divertd in the dark of the whole night and no wonder how i led to the grudge-fight Soon I found myself held the sword and the shield in the midst of revengeful-field Don't know from where the power came in my arms thousands were slaughtered in a second I raised the sword to chop the last remainder one but stopped, as he surrendered himself down My companions raised the cry of victory as the meaning to my bewildered looks Amonst this noice I heard the hoarse voice It's no one, but the opponent's commander Caling me oh monk! lead us to the peace I found in his eyes the ripples of water as the pebble thrown in the placid river the disturbed hair with dust and blood at his mouth seemed like an abandoned child who sucked the beast's breast Dare not anymore gaze into his face as it questioned me about my race I knelt down uttering a deep cry by which the earth trembled and even the sky The thunder bolt urged me to stop but i can't Master! we won, you were crying asked the companions Said I, oh my foolish brothers we lost the human world and gained the curse of a grave-yard They felt me made, left me alone, except the one the opponent's commander who hugged me to give relief from this great pain Soon I found the blood oozing from my stomach and my eyes begin to close My last sight found him as an ignorant child who doesn't know the weapon is not a playing tool _________________ The wandering soul
Srinivas, your poem left an impression on my mind which I'm sure is gonna last a while. Amazing imagery, I felt like I was THERE, living it. Fantastic ending too.. I'm just amazed at your work!
Halfway through the poem i knew that this was gonna be one of the best poems that i had ever read. Dude, you manage to achieve exactly what i strive after in my poems. Perfect imagery. Wonderful, please keep writing and posting your poems.
Brilliant imagery! Simply Fantabulous dude!!!.. i'm thinking of words to praise it..but jus cant think of any there arent any errors..jus a few typo's here and there.. Do post some more of your work here I would be glad to read it
At first, I thank u all friends for your invaluable appraisals. I am grateful to you all for taking time to read me, Surely, your words added fuel of motivation to me and can make my journey great. I promise to return with some good one. Once again my heart says thanks u all. _________________ The Wandering Soul
no words..... Mr Srinivas.............iam absolutely awed. this is the best poem i have read on IGT till now. I lived every part of your poem and its simply amazing. just one question....have u ever experianced war urself..have u been in army?
