The Teardrop

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Poison..., Nov 8, 2012.

  1. Poison...

    Poison... New Member

    The teardrop; it sprayed out a rainbow from within.
    It echoed a much deeper pain.
    Below the eye it hung, quivering.

    It held nothing as it rolled down the cheek
    Ominously dragging the mascara with it;
    Not wanting to be alone.

    Chilling jaws of the wind blew it away,
    Freezing it before it fell any lower.

    I caught your eye and we smiled;
    The agony shattered like the tear that splattered on the ground.
     
    horsesmouth likes this.
  2. ghost_blogger

    ghost_blogger New Member

    That's really good. It's quite vivid and imaginative.
    Good going.. :)
     
  3. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    I think this is really well-written. You've created a very real image in my head with your words. Does spraying out a rainbow allude to a ray of light falling on the tear?
     
  4. Poison...

    Poison... New Member

    Yes. It exactly indicates that.
    Also, a rainbow is something that is related to happiness. So it was a bit ironic too.
     
  5. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    oh, I thought by rainbow you meant many sorrows effusing out.

    Its very good, vivid, as bjr said!.
     

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