hi ppl... me back wid another poem... well this time i rote after QUITE a LONG time! anyway... but i think i coud have done a better job with the idea that i had in mind... but still i am posting it hoping u guys will give in some honest comments! here goes.... THE ACCIDENT From the nights, till the dawn From the tears till the pain I thought I had seen it all Knowing nothing about myself Always knowing what I didn’t want Lost in the search for ma future that was never planned Thinking my life… was a place… where shadows gave way to more shadows… all shrouded in grey! Tears clinging to my eyelashes Like a curtain drawn in front of my eyes Blocking my view Drizzling… Lights that I once enjoyed… Now seem to prevent my death! My face covered in sweat Sounds of rush fill the air Cars… ppl…ambulances But no one can save me now For where I lay today I can not be rescued! thx for reading comments welcomed LIKE ALWAYS!
Sets a powerful mood. Favorite part opening lines : "From the nights, till the dawn From the tears till the pain" Not clear on this line:"Sounds of rush fill the air" Over all I thought it was very thought provoking. Hell'n
@ wheels... thx a lot man! well about the line SOUNDS OF RUSH FILL THE AIR... well i TRIED to xplain the whole effect of rain drops, shouts, cries, horns, winds, cars etc in ONE LINE... but guess i didn;t put it the rite way...: hope u understand it now... thx anyway! is everyone else dead... cause JUST 1 reply is shocking! :think: hehe
If it makes you feel any better--I haven't been getting many replies either! Misery loves company! LOL Hell'n
@ wheels... thx... it KINDA helped... @ ayesha... ahem ahem... really sweet of u to post an HONEST reply... guess u R NEW TO IGT! :
@Hira sorry for readin late....i thnk i'll read it again...cos at this point my mind is struck at smthng else.. @Ayesha...m sure u r NOT a newbie...so WHOEVER U R...if u dont like the creation atleast acknowledge the effort that some1 has put in to mk that creation...u wont get anywhere with being that RUDE....
hmmmm...at first i cdnt quite get the imagery but as went ahead lines made sense. Though u have tried ur level best to create an imagery but selection of better words would have made a difference.
gr8 work...what inspired you to write this? bcause i only write when i m sleeping and i dream something ..i have to get up and juss write something about it..i just want to know how people get inspiration for their poems..great wwork once again btw..
@ abhi...WOW! thx man! well... i didn;t think this was one of ma GOOD works... thx for ur appreciation though! about ma inspirations... errrrr... i don;t know... i just rite wen i feel like.... i mean i guess ma surroundings and the ppl i meet or maybe some SPECIAL INCIDENTS... inspire me to rite...
i think its really difficult to write tht way..coz i dont know i ahve a story( my dream ) to write about , but you think of something..thts quite cool...(y)..way to go!!
Wow! Thx Man!!!!!!! didn;t think it was one of ma best works... BUT THX A LOT FOR UR COMMENTS! :nw: its cause if u ppl that i keep posting ma work here! thxxxxxxxxxxxx! :dance:
