Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by horsesmouth, May 26, 2010.

  1. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Okay, I dunno wht others might think, but its my best, not for its words, but meaning, and for wht it means to others.
    Its a double ended poem, you can choose whatever you like.
    I'll explain it soon in a second post.

    Like the petal to the morning dew,
    they meet, in the fall of the night.
    They behold a warmth for the breaking dawn,
    hiding from the sun, mysteriously.

    They never say, they never disbelieve,
    for the simple truths burnt in their minds
    is the forming void of loneliness.
    They seek to fill each other in solidarity.
    Still they refuse to give in,
    into the attraction that holds them near.
    Is it their common thoughts?
    Or is it their driving fear?

    Its the fear of the hand that's burnt,
    trying to touch a flaming heart.
    And the heart's still far away,
    plunging into anonymity.
    Behind the vastness of the enormous mind,
    their answers lay within them.
    And they look for a hand to point them out,
    such is the nature of humanity.

    And though it gives all it could,
    the drop vapourises into nowhereness.
    While, forever, makes a place inside,
    for a lifetime worth of happiness.

    But as it watches a friend die out,
    Wet in tears, the petal calls aloud:


    The strength you gave me as a friend,
    Within my heart will always stay,
    As strangers we met, as strangers we depart
    But you've made me live the following day.


    Being with you is all I can ask,
    but let's meet the coming days.
    As strangers we meet, as strangers we depart,
    And you settle on me with the early rays.

  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Okay for the explanation:

    1st para:
    Two strangers meet, the only difference is that, they have come through difficult times (fall of the night), and fearful of everyone around (hiding from the sun). But all the same, ready to welcome a new day.

    I believe, simple people get fooled easily, and stay lonely, and they mutually attract like people. They try to help each other, and at the same time seek help too.
    But they never get too close, they fear what will happen again.

    They have been through times, when helping others (selfish people) has gotten them into trouble, so they maintain a distance from each other.
    They know, that this time, its not like before, but their hearts are scarred, and so they seek the same answer from the other, that, ironically, they're giving unknowingly to the other person. Its what makes their friendship ubreakable.

    So now, my beliefs make me say that,
    ;) there are strangers, who dont talk at all ;)
    ;) there are strangers, who talk, but dont share ;)
    ;) and finally, there are strangers who talk, share and make best friends ;)

    But all in all, strangers depart, and that's the one painful truth, barring a few cases.
    This is what happens...

    1st ending:
    Both depart, but as the best of friends, and live life remembering each other.

    2nd ending:
    Both stay strangers, for always, sharing few things, hiding few others, but staying friends all the same.

    The metaphor that relates with the dew, is that, people are strangers when they dont always meet, mebbe once in a while, (or once for the morning?).

    It might make few people happy, might hurt someone, some (if they read) might identify the lines meant for them. It means different to different people.

    Its not the best poetry in artistic beauty, but it just touches my heart to the deepest.

  3. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    ur poems are complex for a "lehman".

    u write complex, maybe too good for understanding smtime :)
  4. metalhead_junky

    metalhead_junky New Member

    it did need an explanation...difficult to understand, i guess u really think a lot for ur poems..
    but it is awesome all the same!
    gr8 work, hope i can rep it....
  5. allstarsband

    allstarsband New Member

    not your best, but too good...
  6. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    i'd anticipted tht this wud be the response though....
    Yes, complicated, i wanted it to be that way... :)
  7. this ws great ... strangers ... !!
  8. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    i found it cute ;)
    n the second last stanza is the most beautiful one
    I don't think that ppl who never experienced such kinda thing can understand this poem very well bcoz these feelings r rare. It's hard to find a guy/gal who can become someone's best him/her....and still remain a stranger. It needs courage and nice brains- to catch others' intentions, understand their feelings and react accordingly.
  9. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    @monnie .......thanks dear!
    @sukriti..........Thanks dear.....n yes...vry few ppl want to take risks in life, not cuz they've been in trouble bfore, but cause they dun want to get into trouble...cant say they're wrong though.human nature plays a very important role here.
  10. suprita

    suprita New Member

    finally...commendable work....n it turned out to be more beautifull dan ur xplation/introduction... d lines are beautiful...
  11. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    aaahaaa/ many thanks :)
    btw did I rilly xplain it tht bad? :D
  12. suprita

    suprita New Member

    no it wasnt bad at all... but d real thing was far better...
  13. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Dunno why...but after reading this for 3-4 times i thought i felt real
  14. benchwarmer

    benchwarmer New Member

    this thing has said me all...i have these feelings...but i dont think i can express it in this way...thanks for sharing...
  15. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    feels good... it can associate with so many ppl....
  16. suprita

    suprita New Member

    dnt read it nymore. coz if u wnt read it u wnt feel silly...

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