some poems !!!

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by ssslayer, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    dudes just check these ... ;)

    prudes stay away from this ... u might not like it ... :grin:

    The Present

    I like taking a big dump
    In a public restroom
    A fresh one slithering out of my rump
    In the middle of the afternoon
    Floating in the bowl
    Makes me feel so good
    Awakens my soul
    As if it could
    Never do I flush
    A present for the next patron
    Knowing what awaits, gives me quite a rush
    For I am a fair matron

    Augusta Gordallia-Rosenstein


    A Good Wife
    (She's A Keeper)


    The wife ties me to the bed
    Strips me nude
    Squeezes my pee pee tills it turns red
    After that she gets a little lewd
    Covers it with peanut butter
    Her and the dog lick it clean
    Then she does Sparky, and he starts to mutter
    It is the funniest sight I'd ever seen
    As wives go, she's the best, there's no other
    I wish she was mine but she's not, she's my brother's

    Merle C. Paxton


    Let's Get Nasty

    I want to get nasty with you
    Do you want to get nasty with me?
    I want to spank you
    I want to thank you
    For doing the nasty things you do
    So you think that you are tough
    You say you like to play rough
    Well let's go
    Cause you know
    You want to wear my nasty handcuffs
    I want to get nasty with you
    Do you want to get nasty with me?
    But first things first
    Before I take off my shirt
    Tell me how much all this will be?

    Jimmy Swaggert


    Corn

    Oh how I love corn
    Off the cob or out of a can
    I loved it since I was born
    But one thing I don't understand
    Although I chew and chew it
    Cause chewing your food is a good goal
    When I have to take a shit
    The kernels always come out whole

    Lester P. Higgins


    YUCKKK!!!


    more of such things can be found here:
    http://www.comedyzine.com/poemindex.shtml
     
  2. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    lamo.......chk these out...bathroom graffiti

    A budding poet trying his BEST
    Graffiti 1

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Here I lie in stinky vapor,

    Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,

    Shall I lie, or shall I linger,

    Or shall I be forced to use my finger.





    Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

    Washroom Graffiti 2

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Here I sit

    Broken hearted

    Tried to ****

    But only farted





    Some one who had a different experience wrote

    Washroom Graffiti 3

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    You're lucky

    You had your chance

    I tried to fart,

    And **** my pants!





    Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets

    Washroom Graffiti 4

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I came here

    To **** and stink,

    But all I do

    Is sit and think.



    There are also people who come in for a different purpose

    Washroom Graffiti 5

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Some come here to sit and think,

    Some come here to **** and stink,

    But I come here to scratch my balls,

    And read the bull**** on the walls...



    Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......

    Washroom Graffiti 6

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    (written high upon the wall)

    If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire

    Department wants

    you.



    Ministry of environment advertisement

    Washroom Graffiti 7

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    We aim to please!

    You aim too! Please!



    Washroom Graffiti 8

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Seen above a urinal:

    Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.

    We don't piss in your ashtrays!



    Washroom Graffiti 9

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    On the inside of a toilet door:

    Patrons are requested to remain seated

    throughout the entire performance.



    Washroom Graffiti 10

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:

    We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our

    pool



    Washroom Graffiti 11

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Another sign seen at a swimming pool:

    Welcome to our ool.

    Notice there's no P in it.

    Please keep it that way.



    Washroom Graffiti 12

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sign seen at a restaurant:

    The hands that clean these toilets also make your

    food...please aim

    properly.



    Washroom graffiti 13

    --------------------------------------------

    "Look down, ur future's in ur hands"



    Washroom graffiti 14

    --------------------------------------------

    "Shake well after use".
     
  3. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    lmao..... :p:
    lol.....
     
  4. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    wow ...

    especially those notices kept by pool and restaurant ppl ...
    and the one on ashtray ...

    LMAO ...

    too gr8 ...
     
  5. shak

    shak Harrr!

    @ssslayer .... you a dom?
     
  6. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    OMG ... how did ya make it out ??? :shock:

    wont actually prefer being a sub ... :p:
     
  7. shak

    shak Harrr!

    aaah it was easy
    ... true sub is bad ...you get the red bum all the time ... but dunno why ...dom doesnt click for me ...
     
  8. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    hohum ... but i am more of dom ... :p: ... that doesn't change ... ya know a li'l bit of Marquis de Sade doesn't hurt anyone ... ;)

    whereas even a li'l bit of Leopold von Sacher Masoch ... and u end up hurting yourself ...
     
  9. shak

    shak Harrr!

    damn you are serious man ... lol i had to google for masoch thingy ... hahaha
    naa i aint into that thing..the closest that i have been to fet is when i spilt the candle accidently and the wax burned my arm ... thats it! ...lesson...dont burn candles when you are havin a hump
     
  10. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    nothing but ROTFL ...
     
  11. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    uh....too Stinky to handle...but the one for 'wife' & being 'nasty' was ....;)
     
  12. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    that is a hallmark of a pervert ...
     
  13. shak

    shak Harrr!

    hahaha .. i am comin garima!
     
  14. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    Wat was that for Shahrukh ?????
    puhleeeeezzz.....gimme a brk :/
     
  15. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

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