Simply the best resignation letter

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by slashboyin, Jun 19, 2006.

  1. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    A must read!!!
    Actual letter of resignation from an employee at
    Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently
    resigned very soon afterwards!

    Dear Mr. Baker,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
    basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have
    an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
    consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the
    commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
    true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
    everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
    only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
    because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
    hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
    vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste"
    for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
    binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand
    why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even
    though I am sure this will be just as effective
    as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
    than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
    others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
    worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
    responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
    will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial
    evolution, you
    are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

    Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this
    situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal
    lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have
    a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for
    you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is
    "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over
    the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
    unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
    every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to
    get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
    conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your
    useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually
    viewed favorably by the

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
    Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take
    pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
    like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it
    to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure
    you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the
    authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell
    check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
    desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
    little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never
    f*** with your Systems Administrator.
    Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

    Johny Bravo likes this.
  2. Johny Bravo

    Johny Bravo The Boy Genius!

    ROFL man! Way to go! Highly recommended framework to anyone resigning from a shitty job. That sauce bottle piece was good! Rock on....
  3. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    thanks man. and i liked your siggy
  4. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!


    But I guess Amroos are born to be morons, so no big deal if their managers are like that.
    Guess the SysAd must be an Indian or Israeli.
  5. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    the admins name is cecelia.
  6. aysh

    aysh -|h3 ori9in4| (ui!aris-|-

    why do u say that :think:

    @slashboyin and bravo ... good siggys (Y)
  7. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    Isn't that mentioned in the letter itself?
  8. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    Isn't that mentioned in the letter itself?
  9. nabzy

    nabzy New Member

    LOLZ! hilarious...will deffo use something like this someday hehe:p:
  10. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    i know it was in the letter, but alpha1 said that the admin must be and indian or israeli. so i pointed out the name of the employee to show that it must be some other nationality coz i dont think any indian or israeli admins name will be cecelia. i am not saying its not possible.
  11. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    by the way i forgot to mention that the admin in my company is the worlds no.1 arsehole. sonofabitch blocked my net access. now i cant browse igt while working :-(

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