Self composed song: Dil Mein Tum...with chords

hey guys...
here's a song that i recorded.....it's my first one

i call it Dil Mein Tum

listen to it once the link is https://rapidshare.de/files/5983913/dilmeintum.mp3.html

and give me an honest opinion...if its crap..then let me know

btw...
the chords go like

Dil Mein Tum

Throughout the song..the fingering for A is (077655)
and for G is (055433) and when i say A or G, it will mean this fingering only

A - (077655)
G - (055433)

Intro
D Bm G A

D Bm
Tum ho meri jaane jana
G A
Main hoon tumhara deewana
D Bm
Bas...ab to tum
G A
Aao na.....

D Bm
Neend ab bhi nahin aati
G A
Raatein sooni nazar aati
D Bm
Bus....ab to tum
G A
Aao na....
A
Kyunki...

[Chorus]

F# G
Dil mein tum ho
A F#
Khwabon mein tum ho
F# G
Aankhen band karta hoon
A F#
Bus tum hi tum ho

F# G
Dil mein tum ho
A F#
Khwabon mein tum ho
F# G
Aankhen band karta hoon
A F#
Bus tum hi tum ho

[Whistle]
D Bm G A



And go ahead guys listen to it....once atleast....and make fun of it if you want to....i thought the lyrics were pretty funny too.....but i'll work on it

 

gud yaar .....i mean seriously u r too gud.......... :nw:
but
there was sumthing missing.....i dunno wat

 

good but cud have been better...nice strumming but vocals need more polishing.
Any way good job.

 

i heard it yest , wasa good

 

hey guys..thanks...i know the vocals not too good....i aint too good with that kinda songs.....i can give good Hetifield style hard rock vocals though....

anyways.....wait for a while and there will be more songs from me for sure....

 

Not bad at all man, Agreed thou, work on some of these lyrics, then this'll be a reall tight song.. Possibly a lil more fluid with the chord changes? There's like alotta break between some of the chords, dead air time is bad But otehr than that, great song!!!