Purple Haze!

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by walk_alone, Mar 7, 2006.

  1. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Hi guys, enuff of mushy poems.
    this is my honest attepmt to write smthng different,

    Please do comment.
    Purple Haze

    I blew my dreams away,
    in the purple haze.
    I lived another life,
    in some distinct world.

    I laughed and smiled,
    then soughed and cried.
    waited for this misery,
    to come to an end.

    yes I was sedated,
    by the storming sea.
    when the big waves of my hopes,
    came crashing to the shore.

    they touched my feet,
    and went back again.
    ever so calm,
    ever so defeated.

    I felt like Achilles,
    god of all gods.
    but my memory failed me,
    then I trembled and fell down.

    I was on my knees,
    gasping for air.
    oh,how mortal Iam,
    I forgot about "achilles heel".

    I stared at the raging sea,
    as if it was riant at me.
    the realisation came,
    the elements have conspired against me.

    I closed my eyes in surrender,
    only to be woken again.
    I just lived another life,
    in the purple haze.


    Those who aren't aware of the legend of "Achilles Heel":-

    When Achilles was born, his mother, Thetis, tried to make him immortal by dipping him in the river Styx. As she immersed him, she held him by one heel and forgot to dip him a second time so the heel she held could get wet too. Therefore, the place where she held him remained untouched by the magic water of the Styx and that part stayed mortal or vulnerable.
    nimisha likes this.
  2. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    What does soughed mean? And i liked this poem, it could use a bit more work, for example the lines "oh how mortal i am, i forgot about achilles heel" can be improved upon, but as an overall effort, nice imagery, keep writing.
  3. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Thxs Disturbed...........i know i can work a bit more..........i just wrote it few mins ago........i dnt rework on my poem...so they indicate my mental state.
    but yes after few comments i wd surely edit it.

    and yes,soughed means pain, discomfort, or displeasure.

  4. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^I'm glad you dont do too much editing, that's how i write, and i appreciate that. Dont edit this poem, leave it as it is, the next time you write remember and let it be a part of your writing. Thanks for the meaning, i could have used dictionary.com but i wanted to get the meaning in the context of the poem.
  5. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    The best we've had from you so far, great job!
  6. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    I concur......
  7. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    oh finally cryptic speaks...............thxs cryptic.
    iam sure there are lot better to come.
  8. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    good one definatly strong...

    they touched my feet,
    and went back again.
    ever so calm,
    ever so defeated.

    nice ..vo what do we call itt....i forgot .....but of u change that word went with came or returned u could have added another strand of thought.....did u see that movie TROY ?
  9. Broken_heart

    Broken_heart New Member

    Nice work buddy...I kinda liked it alot!
  10. Sharmontime

    Sharmontime New Member

    A good Poem...but a lot of questions..:shock: ...i am unable understand properly i guess...:eek::
  11. guitarangela

    guitarangela gran'ma

    really nice poem...don't have to say much..u know my views:beer: reps if allowed...;)
  12. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Questions? wat kind of questions...maybe I can clarify.

  13. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    yes sir...i saw that movie but that didnt inspire me to write it.
    well "returned" could have been another choice so can be one million other words.just matter of wat came in my mind.

  14. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs angela....to be honest dint expect that u wd reply.
    thxs broken_heart...thxs for reading.
  15. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    liked the theme
    and the use of myth and real life..quite a blend i must say!
    title reminded me of the Jimi Hendriz song
  16. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    thxs martini...u r one of the best critic one cd have.

  17. #iR@


    AMAZING MAN! great to read something different from ur side... and u did a PRETTY good job! theres soo much happenning on IGT in the past few days... why the HELL do i have xams! :annoyed: chalo me better go study... just wanted to see wat u guys have new in the poetry forums and theres A LOT so just reading a few!
  18. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&*$@*^$

    really nice man...... liked a lot .........
  19. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Ahhha u r finally back Hira..............thxs for reading it...damn these exams...anyway best of luck/

    Apurb, thxs to u too for reading.
  20. Seher

    Seher New Member

    @ Pamposh.. A very thoughtful and different poem written by you..!! A nice blend of Mythology and reality of life..!! I am sure it must have taken deep thinking by you to create such beautiful lines..!!

    The most appreciable part of your poem is when the realisation factor comes in that a person is mortal and then also he tried to live a different life.. The one which is different from his present one..!!

    Indeed very nicely put together..!!

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