Hi guys, enuff of mushy poems. this is my honest attepmt to write smthng different, Please do comment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Purple Haze I blew my dreams away, in the purple haze. I lived another life, in some distinct world. I laughed and smiled, then soughed and cried. waited for this misery, to come to an end. yes I was sedated, by the storming sea. when the big waves of my hopes, came crashing to the shore. they touched my feet, and went back again. ever so calm, ever so defeated. I felt like Achilles, god of all gods. but my memory failed me, then I trembled and fell down. I was on my knees, gasping for air. oh,how mortal Iam, I forgot about "achilles heel". I stared at the raging sea, as if it was riant at me. the realisation came, the elements have conspired against me. I closed my eyes in surrender, only to be woken again. I just lived another life, in the purple haze. _________________________________________________________________ Those who aren't aware of the legend of "Achilles Heel":- When Achilles was born, his mother, Thetis, tried to make him immortal by dipping him in the river Styx. As she immersed him, she held him by one heel and forgot to dip him a second time so the heel she held could get wet too. Therefore, the place where she held him remained untouched by the magic water of the Styx and that part stayed mortal or vulnerable.
What does soughed mean? And i liked this poem, it could use a bit more work, for example the lines "oh how mortal i am, i forgot about achilles heel" can be improved upon, but as an overall effort, nice imagery, keep writing.
Thxs Disturbed...........i know i can work a bit more..........i just wrote it few mins ago........i dnt rework on my poem...so they indicate my mental state. but yes after few comments i wd surely edit it. and yes,soughed means pain, discomfort, or displeasure.
^I'm glad you dont do too much editing, that's how i write, and i appreciate that. Dont edit this poem, leave it as it is, the next time you write remember and let it be a part of your writing. Thanks for the meaning, i could have used dictionary.com but i wanted to get the meaning in the context of the poem.
good one definatly strong... they touched my feet, and went back again. ever so calm, ever so defeated. nice ..vo what do we call itt....i forgot .....but of u change that word went with came or returned u could have added another strand of thought.....did u see that movie TROY ?
yes sir...i saw that movie but that didnt inspire me to write it. well "returned" could have been another choice so can be one million other words.just matter of wat came in my mind.
Fantabulous! liked the theme and the use of myth and real life..quite a blend i must say! title reminded me of the Jimi Hendriz song
AMAZING MAN! great to read something different from ur side... and u did a PRETTY good job! theres soo much happenning on IGT in the past few days... why the HELL do i have xams! :annoyed: chalo me better go study... just wanted to see wat u guys have new in the poetry forums and theres A LOT so just reading a few!
Ahhha u r finally back Hira..............thxs for reading it...damn these exams...anyway best of luck/ Apurb, thxs to u too for reading.
@ Pamposh.. A very thoughtful and different poem written by you..!! A nice blend of Mythology and reality of life..!! I am sure it must have taken deep thinking by you to create such beautiful lines..!! The most appreciable part of your poem is when the realisation factor comes in that a person is mortal and then also he tried to live a different life.. The one which is different from his present one..!! Indeed very nicely put together..!!
