Hello people !! Been away for a while... but I m glad i m back. Fresh and rejuvenated... and tanned.. not to forget....But the "keeda" of poetry didnt leave me there too So here is something to bug you guys Enclosed is also a pic of that place. Ran from the world incessantly Far from the maddening crowd Needed to break free from the monotony of life Away from the echoes of its agony and bliss Life was just getting uneasy and here I went On a lookout for explication of an unknown ecstasy Reached where land sacrificed its existence Witnessed the union of Oceanus and Zeus In the lap of Mother Nature my expedition just began As the master geared forth with his very own plans Exhausted as my body was, thrilled was my mind A whole New World welcoming, with quarter left behind Minutes went by and so did hours Sky lit up with zillion twinkling stars For once the idea of being alone didn’t leave me scared Just living that moment was all that I cared Found darkness all around But no fear within Music of the waves started setting in Wet sand beneath my bare foot Cool breeze of the night ruffling my hair Thoughts went blank, finally found peace somewhere Each tide different from the last Made me realize there shall be no new past Writing on the sand just took seconds to wash away Endorsing the saying “this too shall not stay” The vast ocean before me only reckoned my faith I m just a tiny creature on the earth’s face There is more to this world than just my problems My issues, my sorrows and my joy Got the opportunity to feel the nature’s convoy There is more to this world than just you and me A lot to be learnt when nature whispers “Hear me”
I'm disappointed sis....i found the language rather plain and you went off into your "rhyming" mode here and there. I'm speaking about the poem as a whole, OF course it has it's good moments, the 2nd and 5th stanzas are promising, but that's about it...am sorry for being so blunt, BUT WHY DONT YOU WRITE FREE VERSE!
Just knew that you will be the first to reply...: And i m glad u are straight forward... I m more than happy to learn what u liked and didnt like abt it. Maybe i can just use the excuse that the poetess in me was on a vacation : Thanks for your views kiddo. Will surely take note of them and try not to repeat the same mistakes. psst: hows the pic? :
Technically, not well written. Either you should've gone free verse or followed a certain rhyme scheme. Also, seems like you didn't give much thought to the structure of the poem. But keeping technicalities aside, I somehow like it And nice pic too
man..i disagree! i really really liked ur poem...u tried to unconceal the hidden nothings very gracefully..somethings which we all overlook. i cant really get words to explain how mch i liked ur work..according to me this has to be one of ur best poems..out of all which i've read : where did u go,btw? that pic is simply soooperb..look at the clouds..man..u have to tell me which place is dis? kerela, goa? hmm..makes my day and my wallpaper too!! :grin: Reps surely..if i can
Fantabulous. I totally agree with vini. The best, after the one I read from Mr.Srinivas. One has to be a professional writer to really care about the techniques of poetry. You were more than successful in getting your message across. Fantabulous.
Always sis, people who really care about you will always be straightforward about your people, people who dont care will always go, "YOU ROCK" or "FANTASTIC" or some jackshit like that......dont worry, you're still one of my favorite poetesses :grin:
@maduresh... thank you so much ! I guess it was all thanks to the scenic beauty of that place. @ trish... I agree it is no where in league with my other poems based on free verse. But somehow this is all that came to my mind at that time. And i had a discussion with sarat earlier... that one should write what comes to one's mind. No forceful thinking or compulsions. So even if my mind decided to write a technically wrong poem... then be it Thanks for your views. I m glad u finally replied to my poem after a long time !! @ vini... Hey thanks vini. I m glad somebody tried to see what i actually wanted to convey through this poem. I went to mahabalipuram, pondichery and banglore. This pic is of Mahabalipuram. I stayed right there on the beach in a cottage and this is the view from my cottage. The other pics are amazing too. But this is the one i took when i was writing the poem. Really Loved the feel and the view !! @ pamposh..thanks for reading and for your valuable comments. I m glad you liked it @ sarat... Hey i know you are my best critic. You are supposed to speak the truth ... thats what you were hired for... remember !! Just cos you like me... doesnt necesarily mean that you have to like each and every work of mine. So chill... and hey Happy Holi !! :beer:.... some bhaang for u
something lacks in this...in terms of poetry.... but this could be a beautiful essay.. nice to see.. poetry kida in ur head is not died yet.... keep it nourished with ur thoughts..
@ nimi... Thanks nimi. I m only hoping this keeda dies soon enough... I have enough on my plate to look forward to.. and this is just eating on to my already scarce time. @ sachoo.. what the hell was that : @somesh....thanks for reading. The pic was taken on the beach in Mahabalipuram. BTW finally i visited banglore...Corner house was yummm !! Been to a few other joints.. will give u the details later How r ur exams going??
pls go thru ur post n u will come to know who's talking crap. u know the meaning of "ROCK" in the world of guitar n u gave it a synonym of "jackshit" . tht hurts n ur saying me crap :shock: .
@sarat... just ignore him @ sachoo.... u get hurt when people call ur post crap on internet?? By those standards i should be dead by now :
ye lajavaab javaab hai..reps to sachoo hey fabolous mere ko ek shayar yaad aaya his name was Chidkaan(meaning shit) ...belive me he wrote only on shit and deeds related.... Chidkaan chane ke kheet main, chidke alag alag, rangaat alag alag aur kushboo alag alag chidke is noun form of chidkaan that also means shit....:rule: sach boolta hoon he was called MAHA KAVI abhi maar gaya shyaad 1983 main mara...all his life he wrote abt shit............SOOOOOOOO SHITTY
i didn't commented on ur earlier one "wat the hell.." coz i dont want to explain. so let's say it, u say "Rocking" (as encouragement, motivation etc)to some one's work so wud it become "jack....watever". does it make sense. n i never said i was hurt when ppl say my post as crap. Hurt was for the bad meaning to word "rock"..u know :rock: .. on the rocks :beer: .. i guess this clears, if not i m still ready to :rock: ...
