nagmo mein qaid yaad..

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, Mar 31, 2012.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    kehte hain nagmon mein yaadein qaid c ho jaati hain
    panahon mein rehkr unki hmesha k liye unhi ki ho jaati hain
    aisi he yaado ki yaadon mein hum khoye baithe the uss din
    meethe se kisi nagme mein inhe pirona chahte the shayad taare gin gin
    raat akeli thi bilkul..hmare he jaisi chaandni se khafa khafa c baithi thi
    kagaz liye soch rahe the hum bhi..dil mein ik baichain c parchhai baithi thi
    likh he rahe the hum k kalam aapka naam likh krr shrma c gyi
    hum muskra diye zara sa to laga jaise raat bhi chandni sang jhilmila gayi
    gungunane lage hum..sunaya nagma taaron ko
    pohncha door talak kahin chho gya ped awaron ko
    aap tak bhi pohnchega to zarroor
    shiddat se paigaam bheja hai gaur frmaiega hazoor
    yaadein itni saari hmare chhote se nagme mein sama to nahi paayi hain
    par fir bhi gungunaega zarroor kayi khatti meethi yaadein ye saath laayi hain..


    i don' like the last line at all...if anyone has any suggestions..id be more than glad to accept.. :)
     
  2. accha likha hai ( par bhuut accha nahi ) .. actually kuch bhi nahi likha hai ... ye bus words hain ...
     
  3. accha likha hai ( par bhuut accha nahi ) .. actually kuch bhi nahi likha hai ... ye bus words hain ...jalte diye ki lauu jaise, jo bus hian kunn ki ek baati jal rahi hai ...na rooshani ki tarah faile huee na baati ki tarah simate bus utne hi.. jina mann kare, bus tab tak hi jab tak mann kare .. na bujh jane ki fikar, na jal jaaane ka savaal ... na havaoon ka darr na andheroon ki bandish ... ek chaah jise bus chaah ban ke rehna hai ... ek vakaya jise kisi se kuch nahi kehna hai !!
     
  4. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    ummm..agreed.. but i do want to do something with it..i mean..umm..make it better ..change lines..there is a theme..! but the problem is i can't explain ..
     
  5. Ali Yawar

    Ali Yawar New Member

    Can i write it in my style...ofcourse i'll keep the theme intact...
     
  6. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    yes for sure :)
     
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    wow!
    5,6,7,8,9,10
     
  8. yup :D

    ek do teen chaar paanch ...lol

    I love my style
     
  9. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ahaa...that was to complete the minimum 10 character requirement...but i didnt want to say anything more...lol
     
  10. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    :RollLol: :RollLol:
     

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