lyrics by dharmatma

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by dharmatma, Apr 23, 2005.

  1. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned this was writtten by me a year or so back...hope u guys like it.
    i dont have a title for it.ok so here goes.

    i was walkin through a dense
    forest at night
    fearing the worst,
    with no light to guide me.
    how i wished for a companion
    to walk through with me.
    deserted and lost i was,
    how naive was i to think
    that during my worst times
    i would be able to face it alone.
    now i realise my folly
    why when i had the chance
    didnt ask the creator for help,
    cursing my self i walked alone
    thinking to myself
    what if i asked for help now?
    was it too late?
    will i be forgiven for my pride?
    i knew i had done wrong.
    so better late than never
    i repented and begged for forgiveness
    and then out of nowhere
    cam a man with a lantern.
    Subhro likes this.
  2. rocking_devil

    rocking_devil Banned

    crappy thing.sounded gud in starting.but the end sounds more like some tinkle story.
    u must re make that one.and try break them into paras.
  3. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned

    i thought the startin was crappy and the ending was more positive..
    how much more can i whine?
    and nah i dont want to break them into paras...its just one whole para.
    and how the hell did u find it like a tinkle story??
    read it more carefully ..i dont think u got what i was tryin to say.
  4. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    @rocking_devil, heard of anything called reading between the lines? And people say that nirvana's lyrics rule, my god.
    @dharmatma, honest dude, that was seriously good. To a layman like me, it sounded great. Wait for real opinions from Tejas and the like. I'm sure they'll be positive.
  5. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned just added some punctuation to my original post....
  6. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    sounds like religion to me....
  7. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    theres a lil conflict aswel as resolution

    i like ur poem dharmatma:)
    it has much more meaning than is shown ... mayb beyond the grasping power of some people
    but very easy to some at the same time

    n u need not use punctuation, i believe in poetic freedom....
    hope u should too

    para's stanza's verses!!
    u define n mould ur own poem!! not others views!!

    if these are the lyrics i'd love to hear the song.....**batting eyes**(smiley aint here)
  8. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    Nice one mate!

    Nice rhythm.. but somewhere just missing!
    But cool one!

    I liked it!

  9. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned

    ^thanks martini..
    im glad that u got what i was tryin to say.
  10. dennis

    dennis The Bhangra King

    woah man..i didnt expect this from u, so penitent!!
    great stuff..good job.
  11. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned

    oops i think i missed zooms post..
    thanks dude..for the kind words..

    @dennis--i had written this a year back when i was less screwed up in the head..heheh..thanks dude..and always expect diff stuff from dharmatma..hehe.
    dennis likes this.
  12. dennis

    dennis The Bhangra King

    jared :rockon:
  13. tejas

    tejas ..........

    I liked it. Good work Jared. Unlike what Mr.Rocking_devil said, the ending is the best part. The use of "a man with the lantern", instead of just stating the obvious was intelligent. Overall, its a good song. Keep writing.
  14. lord_neo

    lord_neo Guest

    Good work d, i like the ending aswell!
  15. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :"(

    man wid da lantrn rockd :)
    reps 4 u :)
  16. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    solid yet fluid

    good poem
    i like the concept, its really beautiful
    amidst chaos
    seekin for the light
    to levitate from plight
    beyond reason and sight

    haha i was just flowin a little, but great poem man, i like it
    really appreciate it, would give reps but i dont have that many points

    take care and keep writin

    cause you got soul

    much love,
  17. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :"(

    u don need points 2 giv reps i guess.. jus click on da yellow button beneath ur sunsign and select i approve and add a comment. done.
  18. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned

    thanks guys for reading my stuff..i appreciate it.

    yes..and plz give me tired of seeing red dots across my name..hahaha..

    anyone else has anythin to say abt it?
  19. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :"(

    i gav u reps :grin: da green ones :grin:
  20. Nanda

    Nanda Bassist

    I see a Lots of feedback on it.........., i find it good, guess it was inspired by some maiden number.......... Someting like "Rainmaker"

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