lyrics by dharmatma

OK.so this was writtten by me a year or so back...hope u guys like it.
i dont have a title for it.ok so here goes.



i was walkin through a dense
forest at night
fearing the worst,
with no light to guide me.
how i wished for a companion
to walk through with me.
deserted and lost i was,
how naive was i to think
that during my worst times
i would be able to face it alone.
now i realise my folly
why when i had the chance
didnt ask the creator for help,
cursing my self i walked alone
thinking to myself
what if i asked for help now?
was it too late?
will i be forgiven for my pride?
i knew i had done wrong.
so better late than never
i repented and begged for forgiveness
and then out of nowhere
cam a man with a lantern.

 

crappy thing.sounded gud in starting.but the end sounds more like some tinkle story.
u must re make that one.and try break them into paras.

 

hah...
i thought the startin was crappy and the ending was more positive..
how much more can i whine?
and nah i dont want to break them into paras...its just one whole para.
and how the hell did u find it like a tinkle story??
read it more carefully ..i dont think u got what i was tryin to say.

 

@rocking_devil, heard of anything called reading between the lines? And people say that nirvana's lyrics rule, my god.
@dharmatma, honest dude, that was seriously good. To a layman like me, it sounded great. Wait for real opinions from Tejas and the like. I'm sure they'll be positive.

 

ok..so just added some punctuation to my original post....

 

sounds like religion to me....

 

theres a lil conflict aswel as resolution

i like ur poem dharmatma
it has much more meaning than is shown ... mayb beyond the grasping power of some people
but very easy to some at the same time

n u need not use punctuation, i believe in poetic freedom....
hope u should too

para's stanza's verses!!
u define n mould ur own poem!! not others views!!

if these are the lyrics i'd love to hear the song.....**batting eyes**(smiley aint here)

 

Nice one mate!

Nice rhythm.. but somewhere just missing!
But cool one!

I liked it!

REgards,
Zooom..!!

 

^thanks martini..
im glad that u got what i was tryin to say.

 

woah man..i didnt expect this from u, so penitent!!
great stuff..good job.

 

oops i think i missed zooms post..
thanks dude..for the kind words..

@dennis--i had written this a year back when i was less screwed up in the head..heheh..thanks dude..and always expect diff stuff from dharmatma..hehe.

 

jared :rockon:

 

I liked it. Good work Jared. Unlike what Mr.Rocking_devil said, the ending is the best part. The use of "a man with the lantern", instead of just stating the obvious was intelligent. Overall, its a good song. Keep writing.

 

Good work d, i like the ending aswell!

 

man wid da lantrn rockd
reps 4 u

 

solid yet fluid

good poem
i like the concept, its really beautiful
amidst chaos
seekin for the light
to levitate from plight
beyond reason and sight

haha i was just flowin a little, but great poem man, i like it
really appreciate it, would give reps but i dont have that many points


take care and keep writin

cause you got soul


much love,
saurabh

 

u don need points 2 giv reps i guess.. jus click on da yellow button beneath ur sunsign and select i approve and add a comment. done.

 

thanks guys for reading my stuff..i appreciate it.

yes..and plz give me reps..im tired of seeing red dots across my name..hahaha..

anyone else has anythin to say abt it?

 

i gav u reps :grin: da green ones :grin:

 

I see a Lots of feedback on it.........., i find it good, guess it was inspired by some maiden number.......... Someting like "Rainmaker"