Gul-e-Gulzar jab se khayaalon mein aane lage hain hum apni aankhen kholane se hich kichane lage hain woh unki saanson ki khusboo jo hawaaoo ne churaae usi vayu mein hum apni zindagani bitaane lage hain jis tarah se hum yeh saanson ka safar apnaane lage hain usi tarah kabhi kabhi hum bhi ghabraane lage hain dil ki dhakane tez aur kahne ke liye kuch na ho aise mukaam par aa kar hum thahar jaane lage hain yeh mere waham hain, lekin sach lagne lage hain jo bhi ho mujhe mere apne lagne lage hain ab aankhen khul gayi hain kisi vajah se, intezaar karna hum phir aankhen mund ke tumhaare kareeb aane lage hain...
last line instead of --Aankhen band ke-- you can put it as --Aankhen mund ke-- jus a suggestion Overall i liked the poem and good flow of thoughts and words
wah bahuut acccha really miain keval pehli do line padh ke hi keh rah hoon... abhi rep kar nahi sakta but samjho kiya ...keep writing....*aur hum samajhte the ek hum hi shyaar hain*
shukriyaa madhuresh, mujhe bhi kuch aisa hi lagaa tha...lekin jo man mein aa rahaa tha bas woh hi likhe jaa rahaa tha...agli baar apne aap ko dohraaonga nahin...: )
it was bit repetative for sure.. first stanza n some other were quiet catchy.. but other few r so ordinary.. overall.. good attempt..!
