Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    der was i...a li'l girl..
    innocent, ignorant ..12 year old.
    movin' admist a throng of people
    where each face is sad and feeble.
    the ambience isso sad and grevious
    points out to something very serious...
    far in the distance,
    i see a figure ...paler than any
    breakin' the silence by her wailin'...
    lost to her destiny.
    this figure is my mother
    to who i go and murmer.
    listenin' me she takes me in her arms, lamentin' all the more...
    when i ignorant of her plight...utter words with twinkling eyes....
    mumma, i want a toffee...
    while sittin' next to my father's dead body....
    allstarsband and horsesmouth like this.
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    thats sooo soooo beautiful!
    u know i get so emotional reading these things i can almost feel the pain behind them...
    awesome....reps! keep writin'

    okay I take my words back that paragraphing makes poetry beautiful......
  3. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    on a serious note, i must ask you, is that what you wrote happend for real?
  4. on the poetry ( i dont wnat to comment on the event/thought): the way u captured the events from the eye of a innocent face is fabilous ... its like the movies they show...reaaly great recital
  5. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    All i can say is... sad !!!
  6. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^ i dunno but i just wanna read it again...
    its one of the most fabulous things i've seen...n the innocence wid which its shown...
    ahhhh/...hats off to you nandita!
  7. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    hey thnx all 4 ur rplies..nd ya is happened 4 plzz dun think dat dis makes me...bad, just makes me stronger....
  8. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    thats all the best wishes to you!
  9. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk i need a favour 4m all u guys....dun think me as sm1 different...i am not...different...its just d does not make me an alien....
  10. benchwarmer

    benchwarmer New Member

    u know sumthng...this page I am visiting now may be for the 5th time....and hv read this how many times i dunno...if this is really who u are...i am not talkin abt the incident...i m talkin abt how u hv expressed that...i love you lil gal...i really do... :) :)
    and about the incident...i really wish if u could say "no" horsesmouth's question...

  11. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u sooo much...nd u dun knw hw i wish..i cud say no to dat.. :( :(...nyway..thnx a lot dear... :)
  12. allstarsband

    allstarsband New Member

    i dont need ta say why, evryone has done that.....i love this poem!
  13. metalhead_junky

    metalhead_junky New Member

    superb, i loved it...feels so...ummm...soo...ok leave it....
    its awesome...keep it up!
  14. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u soo much dear.. :)
  15. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u sooo much dear :) ...feels so????

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