innocence...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    der was i...a li'l girl..
    innocent, ignorant ..12 year old.
    movin' admist a throng of people
    where each face is sad and feeble.
    the ambience isso sad and grevious
    points out to something very serious...
    far in the distance,
    i see a figure ...paler than any
    breakin' the silence by her wailin'...
    lost to her destiny.
    this figure is my mother
    to who i go and murmer.
    listenin' me she takes me in her arms, lamentin' all the more...
    when i ignorant of her plight...utter words with twinkling eyes....
    mumma, i want a toffee...
    while sittin' next to my father's dead body....
     
    allstarsband and horsesmouth like this.
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    OMG
    thats sooo soooo beautiful!
    u know i get so emotional reading these things i can almost feel the pain behind them...
    awesome....reps! keep writin'

    okay I take my words back that paragraphing makes poetry beautiful......
     
  3. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    on a serious note, i must ask you, is that what you wrote happend for real?
     
  4. on the poetry ( i dont wnat to comment on the event/thought): the way u captured the events from the eye of a innocent face is fabilous ... its like the movies they show...reaaly great recital
     
  5. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    All i can say is... sad !!!
     
  6. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^ i dunno but i just wanna read it again...
    its one of the most fabulous things i've seen...n the innocence wid which its shown...
    ahhhh/...hats off to you nandita!
     
  7. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    hey thnx all 4 ur rplies..nd ya is happened 4 real...bt plzz dun think dat dis makes me...bad, vulnerable..it just makes me stronger....
     
  8. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    thats all the better...my best wishes to you!
     
  9. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u...bt i need a favour 4m all u guys....dun think me as sm1 different...i am not...different...its just d circumstances..it does not make me an alien....
     
  10. benchwarmer

    benchwarmer New Member

    u know sumthng...this page I am visiting now may be for the 5th time....and hv read this how many times i dunno...if this is really who u are...i am not talkin abt the incident...i m talkin abt how u hv expressed that...i love you lil gal...i really do... :) :)
    and about the incident...i really wish if u could say "no" horsesmouth's question...

     
  11. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u sooo much...nd u dun knw hw i wish..i cud say no to dat.. :( :(...nyway..thnx a lot dear... :)
     
  12. allstarsband

    allstarsband New Member

    awesome!
    i dont need ta say why, evryone has done that.....i love this poem!
     
  13. metalhead_junky

    metalhead_junky New Member

    superb, i loved it...feels so...ummm...soo...ok leave it....
    its awesome...keep it up!
     
  14. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u soo much dear.. :)
     
  15. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    thnk u sooo much dear :) ...feels so????
     

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