Hi..... erm i dont know its weird but i tried to write this following a simple pattern of thoughts.......... vocabulary and linguistics is my only problem......well thats alll u need to write a poetry dont u : .......anyways here we go ik lamha to guzar gaya ik lamha guzarna hai yeh lamha jo guzar raha socho kya karna hai duniya gar hai dushman to yeh to batlana hai pardey k peechey raaz jo chhupa dikhlana hai ab sochun baat itni is pal ki dhool mein ikhlaas paoon mein kahan dhuan nazara hai yeh lamha to guzar gaya woh lamha guzarna hai lamhat k darmayan khud ko badalna hai andheri sub-ha hai meri eeman bhi kuch bujha sa hai ikhlas paoon main kahan munafiqat ka pehra hai thaki thaki muskaan ab merey honton pe hai rukna par fitrat nahi larkharana, girna aur barhna hai the pattern i was talkin bout was.......... first verse is the IDEA 2nd verse is the ACTION 3rd verse is the PROBLEM ENCOUNTERED 4th verse is the RECOVERY PLAN 5th verse is the END ( i think there should be another verse b4 that or after) sounds weird? i know it does : jus postin to know if anyone has any different thoughts...... EDIT: Last verse in blue was written from the idea given by madhuresh (thanx man)
first thing :- thers no need of complex words hyperbole structure or non-u feelings need to write a poem...koi pyara sa khaab...koi innocent sa ehsaas...kio ruuthi si shaam hi kafi hai ek gazal likne ko u can add these lines in end (if u like) varna comple hi hai teri nazm... thaki thaki muskaan haan mere honthoon pe hai Par rukna meri fitrat nahi mujhko chalte jana hai i was amazed to see this ( wow reps added)...pehli to nahi hai dost ye !
gr8 yaar! i was tryin somethin of that kind........ coz afterall there must be some loop in that thought......the last verse i had was sort of end of the world but its never like that or it will be a pesimistic thought.......anyways im editin my post.....n addin ur verse !! thanx alotttttttttttttt
That was a nice effort started off with a nice thot...& I also liked the para Madhuresh added...so reps for both of u...:beer:
buddy....i wanna say somthing which is not regardin this poem....man tho i liked it....btw buddy y donn u respond to pm's hey i need some hlp wid arrpegios so hope u can hlp
^ nimisha......yeah i was trying to make a song and ended up makin this........strugglin to make some song out of it
good effort man! first poem kay liyea IT ROCKS... but have to say this stanza was SUPERB regardless of that it was ur first poem... thaki thaki muskaan ab merey honton pe hai rukna par fitrat nahi larkharana, girna aur barhna hai i serioulsy loved this stanza! AWESOME WORK! do i see an awesome poet in the making? :
^ ahem ahem.......well the idea for stanza was taken from what madhuresh posted .....so all credit to him.......n well poet me? :grin: na na: im jus tryin to write some lyrics to compose a song thats all : .......thunkooooo alot for ur response though :grin:
