IGT Laughter Challenge 2005

i'm not offended,
by the way heres another one--

MoM- So jaayo beta so jaayo Nahin to Gabbar a jayega!!!!
SoN - Mammi aap mughe akela chor do nahin to jab pappa lotenge to main onhe kehe doonga>
MoM-Kya
SoN- Yeh KI her raat ko jab papa nahin hote Gabbar Aapke kamre main aata Hai!!!!

 

Hi everyone ... A song modified by a Patient

'Chajju Ashiq' after being admitted to a Hospital, sings a Song on his BED.

Note:-

Original name -> Chajju Chajjewala.
Name in friend circle -> Chajju Ashiq


Dil lena khel hai Dildar ka,
Sui lena kaam hai beemar ka ..

dost be joothe..
doctor bhi jhoote ..

lamba phatka laga hai ...
Account bhi saaf hogaya hai ...
Baap ka .....aa .. aa. aaa

 

here s one of my crap poem tht i worte on IGT::


DARKNESS OF ENGINEERING

First day i walked the stairs
In the college of engineerin
The dreams i carried along
Wht 4 yrs they wer gonna be.

It started from day one
The lecturers pissing the mind
No mercy for more poor brain ,
At the end of each day
It was nowher to find..

The same thing followed each day
Same rooms and same bore
The only things of hope wer
The discman and the match ka score

Then arrive the fests
this is the brightest part of the course
All the CUTIES of the college,
Seem to pop up from nowhere

OOPS!! its the dreaded word - submissions
The pen races faster than the mind
to complete the assignments on time

ASSIGNMENTS-never written on own
Ther is always a pyscho
Who always keeps his pen down
his assignments can be found throughout the town.. ( xerox)

Finally its time for exam
this is wen we engineers start study,
Until the timetable is fixed
There is no hurry...

Vacs start and i sit home
Loggin to IGT all alone
Its three and half yrs in the process
Another half year in this mess

All i have to say is-
Engineering is a big bore..
mark my words..
ENGINEERIN IS A BIG BORE !!!!!!!!!!!

 

Interesting Letter to the Sweetheart...!

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) , after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I dare to say that You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh ) feeling for me.

I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye). For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World's best homemakers)

Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made fo r each other) . Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life) , SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy ) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!!!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil maange more)...!

LG (Digitally Yours)...!

 

lol........that ws quite catchy. reps for u.

 

AMITABH AND SANTA ON KBC

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte aaj. Tusi start karo ji.

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are :

A. Punjab B. Punjab C. Punjab D. Punjab Santa : Oh ji how much time do I have to answer this question? AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time Santa (Giggles) : Sir ji bada tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.

AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use? Santa : Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25% B. 25% C. 25% D. 25% AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here.

Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50. AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chhodunga nahi aaj isko. Wahe guru di kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye. Main apne ek dost ko phone karna chahunga.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question. This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.

Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???' AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.

Banta : OOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein...Q -
Q - Q - Q &. Ki hal chal he sar ji. AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur...

Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,......chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.

Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ?? Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Saale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.

AB: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.

Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the question).

Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.

Santa : Oye par... (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitra ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.

Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai...

And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing.

 

READ ON..............

Confessions of kid

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his
mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a
troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him
if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your
birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to
write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my
birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a
fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a
good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike.



Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby
looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.


Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went
into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was
there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped
the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into
the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down
with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,
SEND THE BIKE! !!!!!!!!!

 

hehe...
thanx garima..

 

4 enough for the day........i gues...

 

Hey Vishwa this is really bad .. u have provoked me to get all kinky.. I can't stop muhself from posting this joke .. plz don't give me bad reps ..

Sardar1: Saala aaj ghar jaate hi biwi ki chaddi utaar dunga . .

Sardar2: Kya baat hai bahut mood mein lag rahe ho ha ??

Sardar1: Nahi yaar .. Uski chaddi mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai :

No offence meant to sardars .. i love them .. they are cool people .. howz dat now ??

 

Yeah! Tell me .....I shud b careful not doing those ...stuff...

 

@ vishwa..
ru stealing and donating points to winners (of the contests started by u)

ah..wotever

 

vishwa_81us...can i PM u the jokes...??
caz its 18+ Dirty jokes lol....u will love it...thn may be i can be the Winner??and if u can Understand URDU...??tell me....lol : :

 

Message on Public Toilet :

"We aim to please.
You aim too, please"

 

wht tht mean???public toilet

 

hey MODS and Guys...if i can Attach thm...n write down tht
DOWNLOAD THE ATTACHMENT IF U R 18+
???wht u say??

 

hahah .. now that funnny!!!! lol

 

alrite..heRes a jOke!!!

Ok this one here is a lil TEE WEE bit dirty and wicked but quite a crack up all the same..i dont have the exact wordings..so im just gnna reiterate..whatever i remember; ok here goes:

TheRes a Young woMan once who goEs to see a plastic surGeon. She tells her doc, "i have loose vaGina flaps. And i caNt help but feeL uncoMforTable when i walk beCause they flAp and get in tHe way." So the dOc sets up a date fOr the operaTion and tells hEr to coMe back. THe young woMan then shYly reqUests the doctor to kEEp this confiDentiaL as it was a deLicate maTTer and she wOuld appreCiate it if this oPeration was kEpt just betwEEn her and him. The doc smIles, knoWingly and aSSures her of confiDentiality and teLLs her to coMe back for the opeRation. OperaTion D-day aRRives and all gOes well. WhiLe in her recoVery room, the yOunG woman waKes to see thrEE roses on hEr beDside taBLe. Not knoWing who they cAme from sHe calls for the nUrse who teLLs her that "the firSt rose is froM the docTor himSelf becAuse he sAw you thrOugh tHis whoLe proCedure and wiShes you Well in the fUture. The seCond roSe is frOm me, as i hAd haD a siMilar operAtion and i sympAthized with you-for i knW whAt a haRd thing iT iS for A woMan." "And the thiRd rose? Who iS that frM?" AsKs the curiOus youNg woMan. "Oh and That roSe is from tHe burn PatienT up on tHe 4th flOor. He wiShed to thaNk you fOr his nEw eArs!!"


That really cracked me up man!! Hope you guys had a good time reading it. :grin:
~*~

 

The Jokes are Dirty Jokes...and In Urdu..

alright guys...may be u Heard this Joke...but i m posting it...hope thtz funny : :
And hope i'll be the winner...lol

[SNIP]
[SNIP]

 

Banta and Preeto are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
Banta says to Preeto, "I was wondering, have you ever cheated on me?"
Preeto replies, "Oh dear, why would you ask such a question now?" "I really want to know. Please..."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."
"Three? Well, when were they?" Banta asked.
"Well, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Preeto, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number two?"
"Well, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. Santa came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can`t believe it! Preeto, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn`t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn`t be more moved. So, all right then, when was number three?"
"Remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 21 votes short..?"