i don't surrender i resign from you life yes, i want to end it all with that shining knife i am not afraid to point out the goodbyes that i bade i am not stupid, coward, eccentric or bad guess that my share of miseries i have had i know i am not mature enough to think what i am thinking but i can't think of anything else ..my heart here is sinking i think of family..drop a tear and wipe it off...still no fear i think of every unimportant person in my journey then i know that none would care though they are so many i think of friends and i cry some more feeling that im ditching everyone ..feeling as disgraced as a whore i then think of you then remember that we're through i stare at the moon like some loon i know you won't care i think then why shall i not take up this dare half of my life, i've just lived so that you might take notice i am thinking now to slit through that wrist, be carefree and know bliss i pick up the knife i shut my eyes think of all the betrayals, all the lies trying hard to shift my thoughts to something wise i can't! i just can't i slash it though..i cry..but not for this pain but for some other..that probably has no name i breathe fast ..and i breathe slow and i fall on the ground close my eyes..losing my breath..just wanting to feel you around and knowing that no one would come .. i drop a tear shutting my eyes for one last time..ah i now feel you near and i put up my smile just for one last time. i did not surrender..i resigned from you life i am now free..in bliss ..i am done away with all struggle and strife ..
wow... this is a great improvement to your prev.. very dark very powerful poetry... i could actually see the images in my head(which i guess is what you were going for) reps
