he cares and i trust

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by monica_decosta, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. i twist and tease and challnge his says
    i confess i make him a fool when he lays
    his plans his deeds when the lights are dim
    do charge him guilty though i have been spying on him
    Eachother distantly watch feelings combust
    put it simply he cares and i trust.. !

    i dont give a chance for the guy to know
    this will blast him of if it continues so
    we share the same satisfaction of lust
    put it simply he cares and i trust.. !

    yes me worthy for him, to down on his knees
    with a rose in hand, silent lips saying please
    respect that patience controlling the machos up-thrust
    to put it simply he cares and i trust..!

    never herd of his for me what he plans
    if needs me goota make a advance
    somehow admire this thoug's not saying first
    to put it simply he cares and i trust..!
     
    madhuresh likes this.
  2. zicky5608

    zicky5608 Power Shortage

    Oooh..nicely written.

    What was in your mind then?
     
  3. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    good attempt at expressing whatever ur state of mind was.

    im not impressed by the words u've used..can be worked upon if u strive for perfection
     
  4. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    dats a good poem...but then again i think u can rite better! :) keep posting!
     
  5. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    some change frm the usual stuff....& yeah...choice of words is something u can work upon...
     
  6. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    I disagree with the general theme which, from what I understand, is complete surrender of yourself to someone else. I suppose you could work on clarity.
     
  7. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    I should also add that I love the way you write...very different and I love the line "He cares and I trust" even though I disagree with it.
     
  8. zicky :- thats how i feel...
    viny Ir garima ..will definatly see from now onwards where else words may come
    bjr thanks for reading ...we al have our own ways of thingking ..this was me !
    .......WHERE ARE THE OTHERS....... ??
     
  9. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    i ilke it ...actually its amazing maza aagaya padh ke ... ek baat bataunn i just love this total surrender thing ..if u reaaly feel like this tum meri category ki ho or vice versa bhi chlega...how can i miss this one !
    ur style is haat ke ..keep rocking !! reps added
     
  10. aakhir app aye !....thank u for reading
    i want to know u more ..message kijiyega !
     

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