..:: Dil ::..

Zehen main ek baat aayi
ki ek baar dil ko bech dete
Magar kharidaar hi apne ho
to bechne main kya mazaa

ek baar khoya tha
magar vapis laut kar mere paas aa gay
koi dil ko chhu gaya
yeh ehsaas hua

woh sparsh hi kuch alag tha
woh khushbu hi kuch lag thi
dil ki dhadkan ruk si gayi
aankhon main nami si ho gayi

khayaalon se utaarkar koi hume such dikha de
zehen main jo baat hai zara use haqeekat bana de
Dil ko jo bechkar zara hume bhi sukoon de

good or bad..gimme your honest comments :

 

Cool lines....
Keep it up!

Few lines....i have in mind..

"sirf kuch log hi samaj pate hai...
yeh hum hai..ya humari aadat hai...
jane kuch ho na ho...bus aapko khush dekhna chahte hai..."

REgards,
Zooom..!!

 

nice .. keep up the good work

 

when's that DIL thing gonna be put up for sale? :





Nice poem

 

i've jst started readin hindi poetry... n i felt this one's good.. keep it up!

 

Thanks a lot everyone
@Zoom --eagerly waiting to read something from you
that couplet is really nice.. do add something more..thanks again
@Bleeding Guitar -- thanks..
@Cryptic Angel -- thanks girl..i'm not that good with hindi..
@Akky -- Thanks dude....
lol....by the way who's buying??

 

^^^ab lambi line lag jayegi tumhare liye ladkon ki.. lol

 

If u put it up for sale,.. then only ladies will come rushin i guess : hehe, so u'll be happy,... incase ur,... ahem!!

 

yeah....rite bubbly...kash dil ko bech paate ....good lines

 

Bahout acha likha hai aapne...Martina ! Hamein pasand aayi aapki kavita.

Younhi likhte rahiyega...

The underneath poem is dedicated to you...

Sari Raat…

Hum ne teri yaadon ko
loriyan souna kar soulayi hai
Varna we bhi saath hamare
Jaagti rehti sari raat

Teri wafaai ke naam par
Meine kayi gam outhayi hai
Teri tasveer ko meine
Ashk pilaya sari raat

Jaate jaate tumne phir se
Na aane ki kasam khayi thi
Phir kisske liye meine
Chiraag jalaya sari raat

Do you like it...?

Take good care of yourself...thik hai ?

Amanush...

 

Thanks Amanush
the poem is wonderful
i can relate to it :

 

Added a few more lines and made a few corrections

 

that is really class stuff
gr8 job!!

 

your poems remind me of someone ... from a place i left forever :cry1:

*sigh*

 

Thanks ansh..

and jekyll... hope they are good memories...

 

nope ...

not so good ...
:cry1:

infact

:cry2:



***sigh***

***sniff***


there i go again ...


:cry1:

 

sup guys, am new here...was reading this poem and i really liked it...just to rhym it, i modified the poem a lil.......

 

hey thanks..its sounds better than before
do gimme suggestions from time to time

and jekyll... am sorry dude :

 

*sigh*

*sniff*

:cry1:

:cry2:

 

spam^^^^^^^^


@martina....nice one