Went 2 a pub last night....well where i noticed somethin!!!! :d: kiddin....... comments plzz.......i would love if u guyz have 2 add somethin 2 this..!!! or correct me....!! DANCE FLOOR!! on a dance floor... i c ppl dancing... forgetting abt all da problems.. forgetting abt all da miserys.. for that moment.. How beatiful it is.... somethn that can take u 2 a different level That shows u a colorful world..... keepin aside the darker side.. This mind is so weird.. sometimes full of life.. sometimes so skeptical.. Still the source of all our desires..!! i jst wanna keep dancing on this dance floor.... Wanna b away from all da miserys.... Jst wan to b lost in da world.. where there is no fear only FUN!!! :dance:
An ok effort... had u used correct spellings wud hav liked more... (miserys??) The third para although dont gel with the theme of the poem.... is well thought, liked it.
hmmm..good work but completely vague and distanced..I mean it feels like it's written from an observer's point of view...4 stanzas saying more or less the same thing..it's like you had an interesting theme but haven't justified it and basically portrayed it in every stanza ..Overall : good effort but you can write better..
@maxeffect ahh spellings just ignore them yaar........u got da meanin right......u knw na its just the typo re.........newayz thanx mate....4 ur comment.. i knw it will help me with ma more poems 2 come @neo wanna tell u somethin man....actually the poems that i have written till now...i havent put too much effort into em...what i mean is i just ...open da notepad...type what comes into ma mind and when i think im done i put it in here...ah just too busy with studies and writin this kinda stuff..is kinda refreshment when i take a small break frm ma studies..........................................will put in more effort after ma exams..4 sure... and will try to come out with somethin better.... ........newayz thanx man neo...plz do keep comment they help me a lot...ur too good and correct with ur comments.......... thanx man :beer: and keep :dance:
