complete the poem

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by walk_alone, Apr 27, 2010.

  1. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    here is the new activity that may interest you all...

    everyone would contribute a line each to make the poem, here it starts :-


    " I smells of rain, as if it was here last night "


    have fun ...
     
  2. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    " I smells of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you, sprinkling your love in the moonlight"
     
  3. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    beautiful lines Rikki .. just allow me to re-arrange them a little ...

    "I smells of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you
    sprinkling your love in the moonlight"


    carry on guys
     
  4. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Hey it'll be a cocktail of different themes.. i put through my "illusion" one!


    I smells of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you
    sprinkling your love in the moonlight
    Now its the dew of the mild surprise
    colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes
     
  5. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    @ horsemouth ...I would have preferred something new that would come straight out of your mind/heart, but these lines are pretty good.

    so this is how it goes ....

    "I smell of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you
    sprinkling your love in the moonlight

    Now its the dew of the mild surprise
    colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes"


    comeon Shashank, Monica, Sukriti, picth in .....
     
  6. ok kabhi kabhi ifeel agar main ek line likhunn to loog uss ke neeche hi likenge and ek hi likkhenge...let me break both the rules lol

    she lingers in the dusky wind
    plays it .. game of hido and seeko
    come over oh little girl or’ll catch cold
    we all know you are the innocent freeko

    touched me a silence few days back
    glanced at the windows broken glass
    it knew a lot of people here
    some from my same old tuition class

    I smells of rain, as if it was here
    the glittering dream of a sad moon light
    And scatters the glass to my mild surprise
    colours of the rainbow the on darker side

    she is a rainy night a flashy one
    an ecstasy a marijuana dream
    ...............add people.............lol
     
  7. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    @ monica ... you smell of the teen spirit. noone has to break the rules, not atleast here. You may add a line or two (that goes with the imagery atleast). Thxs for the effort though, your lines were pretty decent.

    so the lines stay as

    "I smell of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you
    sprinkling your love in the moonlight
    that touched me with her silence few days back
    glanced at me from the windows broken glass

    Now its the dew of the mild surprise
    colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes"
     
  8. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    i wont participate...coz u said
    "don't force yourself to write, don't force yourself to rhyme"
    :p lolz
     
  9. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    @ sukriti ... yea, you can add whenever you feel like
     
  10. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    hey when i ws trying to add a few lines one thing came in my mind...
    i dun think it's a really nyc idea...coz evry1 will think in his/her own way!!
    like...
    if monica had to write this poem then she wud hv written about that lil girl
    if prafulla hd to write this then he wud hv written about wat's happening right now...i mean aftr the rain (rainbow n all)
    (above thoughts r assumptions)
    n similarly...if i hd to write this poem then i wud hv written about hw i felt n what thoughts came in my mind when it was raining
    n u must be thinking in a totally different way
    so...i don't think it will work
    btw...m just giving a polite suggestion...rest all depends on u :)
     
  11. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    @ Sukriti ...

    A peom might have 2-3 different imagery, that does not mean that the imagery perceived by the person who has written it, is correct. Every individual may take a different meaning out of similar lines.

    We all are already writing seperately about how we feel in our composition. The idea is to see how we identify the lines written by others and develop them into something we associate ourselves with. Its a puzzle that needs to be put together to be created into a beautiful composition.

    I already like how it is shaping up with lines contributed by Rikki, Monica and Horsemouth.

    Its not a contest but aligning of our thoughts together to create something that belongs to all.

    Does that make sense?
     
  12. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    m speechless
    i can't argue...
    well it ws just a suggestion
    continue the way u like...
     
  13. Hey ...sweko

    i love the way u doodle ...just read our crazy effort two three times ... if u feel its going too much crazy put a line to get it on line...or if u want to shape it your way put ur words

    when we have divised a word called "silence" im sure there would be some words or ur preety spelessness...love ya
     
  14. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    i request you .. please dont spoil the rhythm.. its jus a "polite suggestion"..
     
  15. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    looks like some of us are happy "spamming" the thread than contributing.

    people not interested can simple "abstain".
     
  16. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Such a good thread ....no need of arguments......i dont think ne1 spammin here....
    its jus opinions, we gotta take 'em too.... or not if we dont want to..
    okay here i go again.. few additions to my previous imagery.. add it if u like it!

    I smell of rain, as if it was here last night
    or maybe it was you
    sprinkling your love in the moonlight
    that touched me with her silence few days back
    glanced at me from the windows broken glass

    Now its the dew of the mild surprise
    colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes
    A breath of the air that gushed by your side
    and the warming sun between the shadows hide

    The world looks like you, as if you were here since the light
    ............go on?!?
     
  17. hey some one set the theme ,,,,,,,,, i feel imnot getting it ... u people r bad at poetry ...:p
     
  18. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**


    @ horsemouth ... grrreat lines "horsemouth" ... they are good.

    @ monica ... we are mortals, capable of small deeds, please bestow us with your intelligence ;-)
     
  19. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    *horsesmouth*
    u forget the 's' everytYm!
    :)
     
  20. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    if u're not getting it.. then u're bad..
     

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