hi... off beat topic......give me comments sweet dreams were over as my baby cried, holding in my lap i walked for sometime adjusting to make her feel nice she was adamant.. i took her i walked up few metres organised myself to be in better position at good turning point for her nourishment ... good people gave me something to eat.. i bargained the food for the glance of my newborn to those onlookers my baby is smiling now.... but i cannot see her smile... i am the blind beggar ... rohit astroguru26
u arranged some of the words in kinda weird way dude...... (dats wat I feel, though I dun knw wat).... bt I must say it was a good try.......
hmmm...confusing structure of the poem...but hey....i like the topic!...blindman unable to see his baby's face...yet fully able to hear its cry...he's hurt by its cry... searching to stop it...in end he becomes glad n assured the baby's happiness is restored ....once it's been fed...but at the same time he's sad ...since he is yearning to see the child's smile...touching really...nice
oh oopsie...i read it again...and i think i interpreted some parts wrong. : ..correct me if i did....
tried to give the novel look...give me your ideas.......waiting for comments.... the fresh concept needs to be mended from the criticism and i like your intrepretation of my offbeat imagination.......hope your suggestions will be there to encourage me more rohit astroguru26
hmmm... so now edited poem looks good... the effect of revealing the main point..that the person is blind begger.. who tried hard to make his baby smile n allaas! he cudnt see it.. is gr8.. full marks for ur concept... for poem..not full marks but i can give you 1st class..lol..(now dont start calling me teacher reading this..it was just honest opinion)
