attached to you...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by varmas11, Jan 7, 2005.

  1. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    attached to you...

    you told me, 'yo we gotta keep in touch...
    cause I can't lose someone like you'...
    and I figured that a bond like this
    could never fade, it was always bliss
    but I didn't know you would turn your back
    and I'd still be here... all alone

    do you know that pain yo?
    when someone takes you into their arms
    and makes you their own
    and then turns around and makes you unknown again
    you know that pain?
    man can you feel that pain?

    you've got to flow in the current of life
    but in this cyclical strife,
    it would be sweet as hell to float with you
    everybody needs a sense of belonging
    at least I do

    we're all rolling stones
    and at the end we can carry no moss
    but by God, until the end, how I'd love
    to roll with you

    I think that maybe it's trust
    maybe it's friendship
    maybe it's love
    this feeling...

    but I know
    that though I am free
    you're always there in spirit

    this abandon, this betrayal
    that feeling...
    is never free

    -saurabh v.

    Copyright ©2004 Saurabh Kumar Varma
    d_ist_urb_ed likes this.
  2. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Good, but whats up with all the Yo's?? Is this supposed to be rap or something??
    The first two stanzas were okay. Too informal.You know what i mean? The rest were very good though. Good job.
  3. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    good point

    i know what you're sayin man. it doesn't make sense to say yo's that much. it's not really a rap song at all. but when i write songs, it's always complete expression and yo helps me convey emotion and feel in the song. i guess that i could take them out as well... i dunno man... it just helps give me a personal touch on it. really hammers out the emotion. i like really deep songs, but i dont feel like they should be formal.. i dunno man.. no yo's might make it better too. i'll try it out. hah i guess if i get produced or somethin (which is a longshot) i could change it.
  4. varmas11

    varmas11 New Member

    another point...

    i usually don't like to talk about it... but it is kind of a personal experience... so it's more to me than just a poem or neatly trimmed song. it's like me... i dunno man.
  5. tejas

    tejas ..........

    If u feel the yo's help you convey ur emotion better, then just stick to them. Ultimately only ur opinion matters. Anyway, keep it up.
  6. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    this one is awesome !!!
  7. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Very nicely written Saurabh. You've been quite active in the poetry forum. Good rep for you.

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