ain't no sunshine - a classic

https://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=337551

 

The vocals are good..pleasant sort..just off key at places.The "I know I know" part wasn't very nicely done BUT that part is challenging as it.So I'd say it's a great attempt.The strumming pattern was pleasant too.It's really good to hear this song again.Keep it up.Reps for you.Btw can you just mention the chords you used?

 

im not neo, thank you for your reply. I have a few things to reply back with. I would say that I'm off pitch in a few places, but the notes aren't out of key. i.e. withers may sing a B, whereas I sing a C at the same part; (I do this on 'sunshine' a few times). I just did one take and don't know why I did it and didn't like it on the first few listens. it may have to do with listening to a lot of bob dylan, the greatest--who by the way does go off pitch quite a bit. but who cares, it's art and real, that's what matters.

as for the off-pitch notes, it's grown on me and it was natural for me to sing it that way. so I think I'll hold my ground, though I'm not against just singing it straight. I have a habit of singing a dissonant note or non-diatonic note in my own melodies and I think that extended onto this song. I was also doing some sort of jazz riffs with ribrato towards the end of phrases where I would descend in pitch, and maybe that's a little off-key, but I think I may like it.

I don't mean to sound cocky, but I'm a singer and could easily hit all of the notes in the song right on pitch and sing it solidly. but that's a bore and sounds too standard. I wanted to just try to feel it and take the art to another level. I'm disappointed if I failed in that attempt, even if some technical things like the 'i know i know i know' part and particular notes are not technically sound. I'll give it another effort some time tomorrow and try to nail the I know I know I know part; was there something particular that you found bad about that other than the breathing? there's no way that I could hold my breath as long as withers, so I'll probably just go on with the song after I can sing all I can on that part. but I do give my word to record another take which will hopefully turn out much better than this one.

anyways, I'm very glad that you listened and commented with your criticism. it's better than 'good job!' or 'nice effort!'. hope that others will follow your lead and offer actual criticism. please do reply again with more direct and clear comments so that I can think about them and take them into account. I am trying to do this music thing professionally, so I can use all the criticism that I get.


as for the chords:

verse/chorus - Am7 Em7 G

the other part - Em7 Dm7 and back to Am

I know I know I know - Am --> Am7 --> Am --> Am7 ...

I switch up between Am7 and Am and sometimes throw a G6 in there and play Em7 with double sevenths, i just play second fret on the A string and third fret on D string so you get 2 D's - on the 4th string [open] AND on the 2nd string. the actual song has strings in the background and I think often times they play the sevenths for that jazz/soul sound, but I couldn't say for certain.



regards,
saurabh

 

Actually I'm all for the intentional off-pitch variations..I personally like them and if I had a decent voice I'd purposely induce them in my songs too.I appreciate variations and I think they should be implemented in a song and it shouldn't just be a mere mimicry of the original song.However,unintentional or not,the "off-pitch" notes did not blend in with the song,which is why they click as errors more than variations.
Like the "gone" in the first line and the "she's" in the second..definitely does not blend in with the music.But at the same time "any time" in the "any time she goes away" of the first verse seems beautiful.My point is if you're purposely inducing variations see if they blend in.
About the "I know" part..what struck me in particular was around the 7th or 8th "I know"..that one sounds wrong (like the last "I know" is supposed to sound) giving the feeling that you either ran out of breath or wanted to end the "i know" part there but then you go back to the original melody.Plus I'd say it lacks energy,esp. since you're breathing and not doing it in one breath.BUT,again,it's a valiant effort worth praise.
Hope to hear more classics.Keep posting.

 

Hey Varmas11 very well done, enjoyed your song once again, as always you did an excellent job, liked your vocals as your guitaring!
Keep posting man!!!

 

thanks keoraf

any more thoughts or comments?