A voice in the dark

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Ali Yawar, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. Ali Yawar

    Ali Yawar New Member

    Hey,I wrote this poem a couple of days ago...I dont know if it is good or what... but anyway,here it is..

    Some make plans for everything..
    Some leave it to the master of fates..
    Some sit in the dark,just waiting for the light
    Just staring at the gleaming gates..

    Some say the world is just too dark,
    They fail to see the light..
    They don’t see the lovely rising sun,
    Nor the glimmering stars of night..

    Some live for a sight of a drop of rain,
    A glimpse of the mountains bare..
    Some see beauty in all small things,
    Some are just too busy to care..

    But I am a seeker of one true truth,
    Searching for my own shadow..
    Am I to get to my tryst in time,
    The lake of life so shallow..

    This world so confuses me,
    But I have a choice to make…
    Which trail I have to follow,
    Which path of life to take…

    I can’t make a clear choice,
    I search my soul for an answer..
    But it’s like groping in the dark,
    With the dark just turning darker..

    Then like a lightning bolt in sky..
    I hear a voice in me,
    “you are so desperate to make a choice,
    When it is so plain to see…”

    “You just save that flame of love in you ..
    You just keep playing your part..
    You will get to the end in time ,my dear..
    Just keep following your heart…….”
     
  2. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    lovely! ...
     
  3. rickkkyrich

    rickkkyrich Guest

    "But I am a seeker of one true truth" ? True and truth together? Use a better word i think...

    Nice lines by the way... But following your heart can be a task at times... Keep posting !
     
  4. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    grammatically no..poetically yes..nd very deep indeed..
     
  5. guitarplayer729

    guitarplayer729 New Member


    Nice Poem
    Easy to Understand
    Unlike those you get in CBSE Board Comprehensions
     
  6. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    hahaha..!!
    :)
     
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^nice composition!
    ..if you ask me, i thought there was a mild touch of forced rhyme even though it doesn't interefere with the depiction of the idea.
     
  8. Ali Yawar

    Ali Yawar New Member

    Thanks everyone for encouraging me.special thanks to those who gave their time to read the poem and give their valuable suggestions.Thnk u guys..
     
  9. thenandy1990

    thenandy1990 New Member

    Pleasent to read easy to understand n lovely forcomposition!!
     
  10. hemant_spidey3

    hemant_spidey3 New Member

    I'm no grammar expert but the poem sound very tempting and deep....keep up the spirit
     
  11. Ali Yawar

    Ali Yawar New Member

    Thanks man...
     
  12. such is life

    such is life New Member

    this is really good i love the way it flows it and it really makes you feel emotion
     

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