24 hours to live, 24 hours before I die 24 hours before my thoughts fly 24 hours to reminisce 24 hours, my final prize 24 hours to spend with my dear one 24 hours to brood about that there is no one 24 hours to smile, 24 hours to cry 24 hours to shake a leg, 24 hours to tell a lie 24 hours before I meet him 24 hours before I am accounted for every sin 24 hours is what I have, 24 hours to try 24 hours to live, 24 hours before I die
u could have given a miss to the ending "24 hours before I die"...just after reading even the half of ur poem..the theme was clear..it kinda killed the feel of it...hmm and i wonder how u write without going thru it all urself..(eg, battle field) Hmm..anyways..good attempt ok..keep posting
@siddhart_d: yeah,man you're poems are really good but they get a bit too obvious...even the title itself gives the entire theme of the poem...but I liked this one coz it was small... I'd prefer if you just mentioned all the things you wanted to do and then just mention at the very end,that you have 24 hours to do all those things (instead of mentioning 24 hours in each line),that would build up a good mood and leave the readers with quite a shock. And preferably the title shouldn't be so revealing...the title could have just been "24 hours" or "All in a day" or something..I hope you get my point. And preferrably,don't take any of the above comments too seriously..each of us have our own style,I've just stated what I would've liked...be yourself.
