vo anjane mein ik din hmari aankho ko samundr sa keh gye hum keh to sake na uss din kuch unhe bss thoda sa chuppe se shrmake reh gye.. aaj unki tareef ka jawab bheja hai unhe, gaur shayad na frmayenge vo lekin..hum to apni baat keh gye bheja hai khatt mein jawab aisa unhe ..padte he muskuraenge to vo zaroor badi taqleef se bheja hai humne..to zara fursat se padhiyega hazoor.. kaha humne unse.. " samundar kahein na meri aankho ko..log aksar samundro se vapas nahi aate mohbbt ka gunah zara smbhlke keejega, rasta asan nahi hai utna ..jitni asan hai khali baatein.. kashtian boht paar lgai hongi aapne..kaam karein honge bahaduri k boht.. prr ishq k meethe gamm k samne aapki shiddat ka naqab girr sa jaega..jhelni pdengi jbb aapko akeli aur tanha raatein.." jaisa socha tha..jawab mein ik muskan to sath aayi hai.. chhoo gya dil ko jawab unka itna.. k ye aankh bhr c aai hai.. "aisa ho jo samundr to vapis kahan koi aana chahega mohbbt gunah he sahi..prr ye raas humein boht aaega.. bahaduri ka ishq se vaise talluq to koi hai nahi baat akeli raato ki hai to ..kahenge bss itna he k faasla bhi qaid hai ek haseeen.. humnein paas zaroor laega.."
ahh...sweet lines...it sounds little bit like meena kumari's gazals you're getting better with each title.
aw..thank you .. and please noo ..meena kumari .. i've developed a certain level of irritation to that name...coz .. one of my friends has nothing better to do than comparing my eyes or other facial features to her.. anyways .. thank you
Nandy Madame.....If i may, I would like to compose some parts of what you have written and share it here will you guys.......Please Approve / Deny......
haha...sure monsieur ..i'd be very glad..! eager to hear..! * but won't you say anything about what i wrote?
Ok, here it is Did not do the complete song, want to know how you guys think it sounds before doing the entire piece.... I modified the lyrics around a little too..... Apologies to Nandy for that........just in case...... Song by aryasridhar on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free
I recorded another song, its one of my favourite songs........Maaeri....by Euphoria......Only vocals no background music etc.....let me know what u guys think...... Maaeri - Euphoria Vocals Cover by aryasridhar on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free
awww...! i love it!!! i am still like.. "itni jldi khatam hogya... " and plus no need to apologize .. it was my poetry..now wud b ur song..u are free to do whatever you want to do with it.. eagerly w8ing for the full song.. hope to see it soon..
Thanks a Ton, Glad you liked it and Thank you for letting me play around with the poetry....will finish the entire song....but need time to do it properly.....will post it here once i do
hey i think ur attempting urdu language ... for the first timer good attemept ..u were clear in ur idea nice flow of lines and good usage of words even ... it would be great if you could may be create a more interesting plot .. all in all nice lines
yes i indeed am..though i haven't studied it at all.. but i love it..and would love to write and speak fluent urdu.. let these damned board exams get over..i am gonna do a lot of stuff..lalala ^_^ and thanx a lot..! intresting plot..? umm .. umm .. thinking on it..
Ok, So what i did in the last hour was re-wrote the poetry so it could be sung in the rhythm in which I did the song sample earlier....... Now, there are parts which i feel would be good if recited than sung....let me know what you guys think about it..... Woh anjane mein hamariiiiiiiiii aankhon ko samundarrrrr sa keh gaye hum kuch keh na sakeyyyyyy hum kuch keh na sakeeeeeyyy bas chupke se sharmaa gayeee eeeeeee Aaaj jawaab mein unki tareef bheji hai Gour naa farmaaye..... woh lekin apni baat rakh di hai....... Muskurayenge woh zaroor khat mein aisa jawaab bheja hai (Reciting Starts from here) Jawaab hai...... Samandar kahein na meri aakhon ko Log samandar ki gehraai mein kho jaate hain Mohabbat ki gunaah maaf nahi hoti Zara sambhal ke rukh kijiye ga mohabbat ki oor Could think of writing it till here for now, couldnt think of how to write it in a way that it can be sung further down from here, helpppppppppp
firstly..some errors..'jawab mein unki tarif nahi bheji hai... unki tareef ka jawab bheja hai ...second..mohabbat KA gunah maaf nahi hota and so on.." and.. um recital.. i dun think would bring out the same impact in a song..like in a poem plus if u want to keep a recital in it.. ? why change the lyrics .. imean of the recital part..coz i think the original would make for a gud recital what say?