Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by BubblyMartini, Mar 29, 2006.

  1. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM


    Dont you choke on your laugh
    Dont you let out a smile to vie
    People call you sweet
    I know you wont believe
    They feel your life knows no want
    Desires weigh you down
    Want of a want makes you frown
    Faking a static tideless life
    A tempest brews within
    Your name says you love everyone
    Claiming double-edge it makes you warring
    But motives know no bearing
    Trampling on unforgettable yesterday
    Tread on a morrow today
    Dont get whey
    Having knocked twice
    Death is waiting out that door
    Waiting to make it thrice
    It knows you
    For its listening to your heartbeat
    More than you
    Kick out the blue
    And make yourself a merrier you
    Believe what you say
    Make believe what you feign
    Riding on seasonal rainbows each day
    See the horizon today..


    Dedicated to someone close to me

    do gimme your comments
    whether you like it..hate it..
    or feel it should be better
    lemme know!

    Thanks for reading..
    zoomingrocket, Hardik and notty_lad like this.
  2. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    no..it shouldnt be better!!..A Sublime piece of work....thanx for giving a bright turn to ur poem's orientation..(although it still manages to make one end up wid mixed feelings) I yearn for reading light and joyous poems..but i think no1 would write poems if there were no sorrows....getting back to where i began..I simply liked it....
  3. idefixe

    idefixe New Member

    Great piece of work.........keep it up
    Its more like a free verse...............it really feels like you are having a coversation with some one realy close..........btw...whats ur name.

    PS:Those close to you bring out the best in you.
    notty_lad likes this.
  4. notty_lad

    notty_lad sudo undress

    Bubz .. I really like to read yo poems .. U put yo truest feelings on paper wid great words n style .. Rock on gal !!

    This would have definitely brought a smile on yo face.... I bet !!!

    *Thinks who'z dat close person* :think:
  5. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    acchi hai...specially

    "It knows you
    For its listening to your heartbeat
    More than you
    Kick out the blue "

    Main sacchi sacchi kehta hoon, samjho kori bakvaas nahi
    kuch loog issliye jeten hain, ki marne main kuch khaas nahi..
  6. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    the feeling were quite mixed and as usual i'm not satisfied how my poems turn out..
    so added the "whether you like it..hate it..
    or feel it should be better"
    thanks for your comments girl!..
    and yh i tried to be a little pleasant with this one...but jus tried..so it still shows;)

    thats a wonderful thing to say..thanks!
    my name is Martina...and its not my pseudonym as some people think :eek::

    and yh...it is pretty much a free verse..
    ramblings made fancy you can say;)
    Thanks for your comments!

    it sure did get a smile on my face...:)
    poems unknowingly reflect the person's feelings
    Thanks for your comments

    stop thinking about the "someone close to me":p:..!

    Thanks Manu :)
  7. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    why dont u get satisfied wit ur poems..when they r so good..
    may be u shudnt get so.. it will keep u inspired for making more of this good stuff..
  8. #iR@


    i am outta comments on ur poems... they r simply AWESOME! :)
  9. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Thanks Hira,..means a lot when you reply girl:)

    and Nimisha...well ... thats a something i dont think i'l ever get over.;)
    thanks for your comments..
  10. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    This was as good as i could want it to be :grin: You truly are my sister! The ideas connected, but in keeping with my promise of honesty i do have to say, SOMETHING i felt lacking, dont ask me what, cause i can never tell...but overall darling, it was wonderful :)
  11. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    i thought atleast you'd know the dedication


    Thanks for your comments dear.. :)

    like someone said today..and like my title says..that smile is jus a disguise;)
  12. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    absolutely B-E-A-UTIFUL.....somehow i liked this a lot...am saving this one..:)
  13. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Thanks a lot Hardik

    and your gonna save This:shock:
    i'm hearing that for the first time!
    i'm really surprised..

    thanks again!..
  14. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    ^^why is that surprising?...i always keep poems i like in a folder on my desktop....its a good feeling too read a few nice words once in a while...:)
  15. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    surprising cause i'm hearing it for the first time..

    honestly !
    the only people who have my poems are the ones for whom i've dedicated and written poems.."Tum" and "Dil se Dil ki Dosti"
    ie...only 2 people.. both are my best friends
    the others poems are jus...i donno what to put them under..:eek::
    this sure was surprising..coz its a different case with this one

    but anwy..
    Thanks again..feels nice.. :)
  16. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    Strong lines...
    Beautiful Poem...


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