You Know You're Russian When...

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by lord_neo, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. lord_neo

    lord_neo Guest

    This is really very funny...check it out!

    Your car costs more than your college education

    Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not

    Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)

    Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends

    Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.

    Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone

    Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font

    You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents

    People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can

    Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy"

    You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market

    You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki

    You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner

    You know all the cops by their first names

    You know someone who works at a dental lab

    You are somehow related to most of the people you know

    On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2

    You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit

    Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper

    Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs

    At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'...

    Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB

    You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying.

    You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne).

    The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy".

    You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.

    Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk.

    You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).

    You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka

    You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

    You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on.

    Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4...

    You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).

    You have a personalized license plate.

    When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts.

    Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"

    Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones."

    Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough.

    You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.

    Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise.

    You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.

    Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.

    Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational

    You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends!

  2. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    lol , this is funny and hilarious ....

    i know many russians in lagos ..

    if you say them hello , they reply you back " vodka " , if you meet any of them in the evening , u smell smirnoff ...
  3. tejas

    tejas ..........

    ^Im sure you dont say hello. I know that you say "Beer".LOL. Kidding.

    Anyway, that was very funny. I hope there arent any russians on this site. Im too young to die.
  4. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    LOL, funny thread Lord:)
  5. ^^ neo hmmmm will ask my sis who is in russia more details hahahaha nice ones
  6. Sanjay Mazumder

    Sanjay Mazumder ~..::MASTERMIND::..~

    Quite funny and
  7. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    lolz... atleast im not a russian...
  8. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    ha ha .... really funny..

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