Some W a c k y Quotes (might have already read them) Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? - Jean Cocturan It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia!
common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. -albert einstein a good speech is like girls skirt-short enough to create interest long enough to cover the subject. When a woman behaves like a man,why doesn't she behaves like a nice man? -edith evans Men marry because they are tired,women because they are curious:both are disappointed. -wilde Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little,to cure diseases of which they know less,in human beings of whom they know nothing. -voltaire beauty is not skin deep-what do you want,an adorable pancrease -unknown
i have a quote by the GREAT woody allen in m sig. here are some others. - eternal nothingness is OK, if you are dressed for it. - if man were immortal, could you imagine what his meat bills would be? - the Universe is a fleeting idea in God's mind; a pretty disturbing thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on some furniture. - my mind can never know my body, though it has become quite friendly with my knees.
woody allen has a great sense of wit and humour. here are a few quotes by him on various topics DEATH I don't want to acheive immortality through my work... I want it through not dying. Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Money,it turned out,was exactly like ***,you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did. _james baldwin
Had read this long back Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus -- Bob Rubin : EDIT: It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance -- Elizabeth Taylor
Life isn't fair to men. # Thought 1 # When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from? ---------------------------------------------------- # Thought 2 # The average man's life consists of Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too. ---------------------------------------------------- # Thought 3 # A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
