Wack Quotes

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by slashboyin, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    Some W a c k y Quotes (might have already read them)

    Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
    seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
    hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
    - Albert Einstein

    The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
    the moment you get up in the morning and does not
    stop until you get into the office.
    - Robert Frost

    The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
    there to appreciate it.
    - Franklin P. Jones

    We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
    the success of those we don't like?
    - Jean Cocturan

    It matters not whether you win or lose; what
    matters is whether I win or lose.
    - Darrin Weinberg

    Life is pleasant.
    Death is peaceful.
    It's the transition that's troublesome.

    Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
    remember you when he is
    in trouble again.

    Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
    wrong answers.

    It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
    creative problem solving.

    Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
    where to shop.

    Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
    neither does milk.

    Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
    shoot them.

    Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

    The number of people watching you is directly
    proportional to the stupidity of your action.

    Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
    tomorrow in Australia!
    Aka Oz and Evo Guy 911 like this.
  2. slash_i_m

    slash_i_m Laid to Rest

  3. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

  4. Evo Guy 911

    Evo Guy 911 Banned

    ^^^ ROFL...

    Man! U rock! Great post. Reps ur way!
  5. nimitr

    nimitr New Member

    good stuff ... keep them coming
  6. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    Experience is like a Comb that life gives you when you are bald.

    :RollLol: True, aint it?
  7. metal=heaven

    metal=heaven New Member

    ^^gud one..
  8. cheetah21

    cheetah21 New Member

    common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired
    by age eighteen.
    -albert einstein

    a good speech is like girls skirt-short enough to create interest
    long enough to cover the subject.

    When a woman behaves like a man,why doesn't she behaves
    like a nice man?
    -edith evans

    Men marry because they are tired,women because they are
    curious:both are disappointed.

    Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know
    little,to cure diseases of which they know less,in human beings
    of whom they know nothing.

    beauty is not skin deep-what do you want,an adorable pancrease
  9. sayanakaharry

    sayanakaharry Forum Leader

    i have a quote by the GREAT woody allen in m sig. here are some others.

    - eternal nothingness is OK, if you are dressed for it.

    - if man were immortal, could you imagine what his meat bills would be?

    - the Universe is a fleeting idea in God's mind; a pretty disturbing thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on some furniture.

    - my mind can never know my body, though it has become quite friendly with my knees.
  10. cheetah21

    cheetah21 New Member

    woody allen has a great sense of wit and humour.

    here are a few quotes by him on various topics

    I don't want to acheive immortality through my work...
    I want it through not dying.

    Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there
    when it happens.

    Money,it turned out,was exactly like ***,you thought of nothing
    else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.
    _james baldwin
  11. notty_lad

    notty_lad sudo undress

    Had read this long back

    Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus -- Bob Rubin


    EDIT: It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance -- Elizabeth Taylor
  12. metal=heaven

    metal=heaven New Member

    condoms are cheaper than guns..so make luv not war.!!
  13. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    Life isn't fair to men.

    # Thought 1 #

    When we are born, our mother's get the compliments
    and the flowers.

    When we are married, our brides get the presents and
    the publicity.

    When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What
    do women want to be liberated from?


    # Thought 2 #

    The average man's life consists of

    Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is

    Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;

    and at the end, the mourners wondering too.


    # Thought 3 #

    A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice
    from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will
    fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped
    and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
    was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was
    going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted,
    "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car
    will run over you, and you will die."

    The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came
    careening around the corner, barely missing him. The
    man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel,"
    the voice answered.

    "Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were
    you when I got married?"
  14. slashboyin

    slashboyin New Member

    Yes = No
    No = Yes
    Maybe = No
    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
    We need = I want
    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
    How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really
    not going to like.
    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

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