-Untimely Life-

-Untimely Life-

With shine in the eyes turning saline
And the tongue malign
Creaking into the cracks poison finally seeps in
One ultimate deafening thump and the heart gives in.
Slithering out the soul lies numb yet showing lief.
It lapses into time, yet not into relief
Remembers days bygone.
Where once upon a time it heralded its own malison
Time makes destiny spool another day.
Emotions being the chameleon.
The mask changes color again
Existent since an aeon.
The disguise works its wonder once more.
Brittle heart whose beats are turning rancid
Thou shall repose in the earth.
The skies foretold
Yes, thou shall repose in the earth.
Seeing the obsequy travelling past a river
Zephyr ruffles the veil.
The being within looked sordid as a dirty bale.
Skin had turned white yet not pale.
For they say guises however may confuse dont always fool.
The road followed the river.
The meandering no lesser than the soul
For some say destiny may not always deliver.
Requiescats may not always cure the curse.
Brandishing a cancer the soul lives no more.
But will revisit as an unpleasant folklore.
The skies never foretold
But Yes, it shall revisit as an unpleasant folklore.

---,-'--<@

Meanings- Courtesy dictionary.com
Requiescats - A prayer for the repose of the souls of the dead
Obsequy-A funeral rite or ceremony
Zephyr-The west wind. A gentle breeze
Malison- A curse

Good or Bad
Do gimme you honest comments

reason for editing: error typo and meanings

 

^Being your brother, i get to read the poem first!!!!!! And as i said before, why cant i write like you? *mumbles*

 

like i said...you'll Never be able to write like me..u know why:

 

^ :sad: I know, i suck dont i? :cry:

 

DAMN!!
NO!!i never meant that..and you know tht very well...
i meant to say you cant be bad at poetry like me, therefore you can never write like me......

lets end this discussion here..:

 

*DISAGREES *but goes and sits in corner*......

 

didnt get it fully...but one thing is clear u hv plans to go to US ? hai na...

 

had to read twice to understand...got most of it...its wonderful..reps given
only one question...whats a folkore??..or what did you mean by that here??
plz enlighten me...:

 

haan man ...really had to read again and again to get it..bau accha hain..and the blue colour makes it aur acchAA.....

 

@Manu- nahi re! What made you say so??
@Hardik- Sorry dude..that was actually a typo.. the word is "folklore" and not "folkore": Thanks for your reps...
@Abhi- Thanks !


PS
@everyone - This poem needs some comments...wrong timing to disappoint me:

 

aahan!...i guessed so...but actually when i searched..i got some results 4 folkore too...so it made me doubt..i am not so learned u know...:grin:

 

man u can give those death metallers some competiton...just a pinch more of darkness.!!!!!...
can u write songs fer me:help: he he

 

44 views and Only 5 people replied..
Did someone say girls get more replies..:think:
come to think of it..i dont even see any of the girls replying..

*sigh*neways..

@Hardik-Even i'm not so learned......if only..
@Taxyse- Thanks dude, i'm on the way to improvement, in poetry i mean

 

:grin: Even the guest's views count, you're forgetting that, and make a census of the numbers in the poetry forum yourself, girls DO get more replies than guys.

 

*sigh*

ok

</3

 

"Brittle heart whose beats are turning rancid"


That has gotta be one of my favo lines in there...
NICE JOB!!! :banana:


Looks like im the first gal in this block, aye?? sorry didnt come any sooner.

 

Thanks girl!

a lot goes into writing a poem..
especially this one..
thanks a lot for your comments

 

Oh tell me about it, i take such efforts to ensure my poems are upto the mark you wouldnt believe it(ok fine i'm lying....)

 

You Rock chick. It was my pleasure.

 

Thanks Petunia

And People i'll be bumping this thread till i dont get any feedback..
and i deserve some comments...if not good atleast bad...anyone?: