Unkahe Jazbat...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by zoomingrocket, Feb 2, 2006.

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  1. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR


    Tum pas aakar chale gaye
    Humhe pata na chala...

    Hava ka zhoka, chukar chala gaya
    Humhe mehsoos ho na saka...

    Apne dil par humara naam likh diya
    Hum padh na sake...

    Aap humse keh na saki
    Aur hum aapko samaj na sake...

    Dil hi Dil mein baat reh gayi
    Yeh dard araz kar na sake..

    Kuch yaadein baki hai
    Humhe unhe bhula na sake...

    Hum dono ek hi nigaah se, sapne saja na sake
    Pyaar ka yeh diya jal na saka...

    Hum aapke ho na sake
    Humhe pata na chala...

    Wrote this last nite... feedback please..
    Thanks to Nimisha for title suggestion..

    REgards,
    Zooom..!!
     
    zoomingrocket, Feb 2, 2006
    #1
    sixstringsin likes this.
  2. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    my pleasure..to see n reply ur poem first.. n suggest a title too...
    what can i say bout poem...??
    i praised it already...
    seems zoom...is going......zoommmmmm over poetry n imaginations....!! ;)
    good work!!
    keep zooommming....
     
    nimisha, Feb 2, 2006
    #2
  3. notty_lad

    notty_lad sudo undress

    Man .. Ur really makin ur way forward .. I liked this one a tad more than da last one .. especially dat line .. hum dono Ek hi nigah se sapne saja na sake :) .. Bachke raho sab IGTian shayar :p: ..

    PS- Are u Talking to garima too much these days ? :think:
     
    notty_lad, Feb 2, 2006
    #3
  4. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    u rite really well man! really liked it! :)
     
    #iR@, Feb 2, 2006
    #4
  5. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Sala, jaake bollywood mein settle ho jaa :grin: Simple and sweet bro, even I could understand it and that's saying something :grin:
     
    d_ist_urb_ed, Feb 2, 2006
    #5
  6. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&*$@*^$

    ^^ yup. Its simple n sweet .................. zoom , way to go man ...:)
     
    apurbajd, Feb 2, 2006
    #6
  7. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    @nimisha: Thanks dear..

    @notty: No comparisons buddy :p:
    And i am not at all talking with Garima ;)

    @iR: Thanks for feedback...

    @dis:Bollywood? Apna IGT kuch kum hai kya yaar?

    @apurbajd: Thanks buddy..

    REgards,
    Zoooom..!!
     
    zoomingrocket, Feb 3, 2006
    #7
  8. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    oye notty....wat does that mean.?? did u mean that therez a jhalak of my kinda poetry in his poems?? if yes, then thanx...cos i think Zoom is gr88 @ poetry...& i wud tk this comparision as a compliment :grin:

    @Zoom...do i still need to gv a feedbk???
     
    Garima, Feb 3, 2006
    #8
  9. lord_neo

    lord_neo Guest

    Zoom you can be a pro lyricist with the way you are going! :)
     
    lord_neo, Feb 3, 2006
    #9
  10. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Hey Dear

    its a good channelisation of thoughts
    the poems beautiful..

    God Bless...

    PS- sometimes it's better to keep some things unsaid
     
    BubblyMartini, Feb 4, 2006
    #10
  11. astroguru26

    astroguru26 New Member

    the emotions have been given the perfect title and matter rightly express the themes..........good work by nimishaa and zoom(shalab)


    rohit
    astroguru26
     
    astroguru26, Feb 4, 2006
    #11
  12. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    @Garima: Thanks for the feedback...

    @Neo: :p:

    @Martina: Rightly said... few things are best left unsaid... ;)

    @astroguru: Thanks for the feedback buddy..

    REgards,
    Zooom..!!
     
    zoomingrocket, Feb 6, 2006
    #12
  13. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Wah Wah wah wah

    "ham 2 din IGT pe aa na sake wo to kayamat thi"
    aur aap poem likh ke chale gaye,hame pata na chala"

    very gud....very gud.
     
    walk_alone, Feb 6, 2006
    #13
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