Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by nandy0894, Oct 2, 2011.
do people actually change after they get committed to some one.. ???
there are so many variables involved in such a scenario that you can't actually predict the outcome. but yeah, commitment always has to come with change otherwise how is it called being committed to someone or something?
Yeah sometimes they do, I've seen a few updating their relationship status on FB. That's change, isn't it ?
@morbid_angel .. yeah..but its a bad thing..mtlb kind of.. nai ? coz sometimes i actually have to go to em and say " hey...remember me.. ?? i was your friend when you were single.." and that sucks..
@super admin..hahaha.. i salute you observation..
well yeah, it's a bad thing for some and good thing for others
consider this scenario
you're friends with this single guy and you've got an amazing friendship going on. now this friendship however does not satisfy his lovin' needs, so he finds himself a girlfriend. at first he's just messing around and isn't serious so it doesn't come in between of your friendship with her. but at this stage, his girlfriend is at the receiving end. now there comes a point where he makes a decision to commit himself to her..after that he has to change because he made a commitment and has to live by it. so the girlfriend gets more time and attention and lovin' and unfortunately you lose out. at this point, you have to make a decision to move on because he was never a "true" friend if he just let you drift into the past.
get over it, relationships and friendships are a thing of the past :
plus some other girl has gained in the process so you should feel happy that at least the guy isn't a jerk who's just messing with everyone's head, he's probably using that time to keep her happy :]
People don't change normally.
People change only when they do introspection.
I might be a careless person. And due to my carelessness, I might have brought ppl (including me) to many life threatening situations.
But unless I sat and thought over and "meditated" about it, I would never change.
Besides, even if I did thought over it - the carelessness factor would bring in some sort of thrill or joy, and I might decide that the thrill is more interesting ... so I continue being that way.
So do ppl change after they get committed to someone?
Most ppl just show the change for the sake of commitment to a needy girl/guy - but secretly long to be whatever they were (or whatever they want to be at present).
*Why the eff can't ppl learn to be independent, and not bank on commitments*
@alpha1 .. people do need relationships..you cannot be living in isolation... nahi.. ?
@ morbid .. yeah..
To feel this way you'd have to be a very needy person. Obviously he'll make more time for the girl than you, that is the whole point of being in a relationship. If you need that person to be around so much you might want to question the nature of your 'friendship'.
you just pointed out that commitment = compromise. and compromising is changing in a way.
yeah agreed, that's why i put true under quotations
I was talking about ppl learning to be independent, self sufficient, which is not really the same thing as locking yourself up in a closet.
That ways you don't have to change yourself for someone else. And even if you do, it is because you felt its better to change (=introspection).
Its not imposed on you.
Nor you have to change someone else, or compel them to change themselves in order to be with you.
The world can actually become an easier and less complicated place ...
I didn't actually point is out. I was lamenting over the fact that for most ppl commitment becomes a compromise.
By compulsion, not by choice.
commitment is not equal to compromise..!!
arrree ..look the only thing i was pointing out is..that.. ( this happens with me most of the times )
i have a single friend..we are great buddies..and then suddenly he gets into a relationship and everything changes..!
this was the only thing i said..
and no relationship is not always = compromise..there are many examples where.. people are indipendent even if they are in a relationship ..
no one is a true friend
desire is the thing that changes everything
sorry i dun agree wid dat..tru friends do exist..
Instead of talking in cryptic one liners, may we ask what exactly has changed?
may "WE" ask. umm ..???
anyways,, we talk less..and priorities change..like if id normally book a ticket for a movie..he'll be mad at me..or .. he'll probably ask his gf to go or not.. and such stuff..
I don't think that's really a big change.
Its just that he has one more person on his hand, and needs to devote more time there.
And that one more person happens to become closer to him than you (therefore more time).
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