U turn me on...

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vishwa_81us, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Dear All,

    First time i m trying to write something erotic.. so plz don't laugh.. go with the mood..

    Drops of water sliding from ur neck..
    U can't see me.. staring at u from the back
    It was a rainy day of summer last year..
    without ur knowledge i was there..

    U closed the doors and window..
    as if u were getting ready for the show..
    U didn't notice that i was hiding behind the door..
    I was so excited as I always wanted to see u more..

    U were getting ready to take a warm shower..
    i saw u walking towards the bathroom with hands full of flower..
    U left the bathroom door open..
    U never knew wats going to happen..

    Inside the bathroom i saw u getting nude slowly..
    something in me was getting hard abruptly..
    unknowingly u threw ur clothes on my face..
    U can now imagine my heart was beating at wat pace..

    Bathtub filled with warm water was ready to take u in..
    I watched u sitting and then lean..
    U closed ur eyes and started to moan..
    as if I was touching u.. on and on...

    I saw u full.. i saw u the whole..
    I had only the heart.. that also u stole..
    I watched u moan..moan.. and moan..
    This was the first time.. Baby.. u turned me on...

    Frnds i m really new in poetry.. so plz help.. by ur comments.. Crypti.. howz that..

    I composed it last nite.. dedicated to the girl who rules my fantasies..

    Vishwa :cool:
  2. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    LMAO :RollLol:


    **still rolling**

    Abnormally....hehehehehe.....is is tilted towards either side....lmao....
  3. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Oh cypher !!! I didn't mean that.. no other word was going in rhyme there.. don't worry yaar evrything is normal.. :beer:
  4. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:


    thats amazing....
  5. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    message frm jekyll

    btw all this timwe...how the hell cud u resist....koi aur hota to chaloo ho jaata....either haathgaadi or maalgadi :p:
  6. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    oh ssslayer.. where r u i m really missing ur posts.. wen r u going to come back..
  7. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    well, stalkin and invading some1's privacy like that is a crime u know!! lol...

    i really dunno what else to say!
  8. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Come on i was not making any MMS clip there..

    is it a crime even if its the girl u love most.. and the girl also loves that.. I wud rather call it romance.. and that moment romantic.. I think love is not full without romance... and if u r romantic then u need to be a bit naughty.. :)

    anyway.. leave that ..its just a poem.. have i improved in my writting skills :eek::
    was that really erotic.. :think:
  9. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    idhar to kuch hard nahi hua......infact it was funny...

    but its ok....keep writing....u are better than me :)
  10. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    u rock man...
    this was too good ...simplicity is difficult to handle....but u did it well :beer: :beer:
  11. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Thanx.. Madhuresh.. Wizzy.. ssslayer.. Ansh.. Crypti.. I m now thinking to write something more.. I feel i can also write.. but I know i m using simple words... i need to try some tough words.. but i m poor in vocab :eek::
  12. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    its not about using tough words...its all about arranging words...using proper words at proper time...and above else....wen ur writing such poems...sensuous ones....U have to write it like a story....the one reading it should feel a part of it...then only the reader will feel smthing getting hard :p:

    and im worse in vocab...read my blog for instance...the best example of crappy vocab :beer:
  13. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    Thanx wizzy for that guidance.. i will keep writing...

    Well.. on the naughty side... The reader may be female i think.. :think:
  14. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    hmm I am representing male junta...let sm female speak on wht they will feel
  15. vishwa_81us

    vishwa_81us Banned

    hmmm 21st century females r shy to reply anything in this thread.. :eek:: ok leave it..
  16. shak

    shak Harrr!

    that was like reading a p*** movie .. :S
    but i reckon you could have done more .. i mean .. one doesnt get many chances like these! haha
    nice effort .. looking forward to getting some more from you ..
  17. Mr. Scary

    Mr. Scary Bass-tard Child

    I liked it...
  18. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    donno why but the poem reminds me of Khushwant Singh!!! :shock:
    its okish..u could write on better topics
    or if your more comfortable writing on this stuff..

    poems are poems after all

    PS--- Tarun Tejpal has been short-listed for some Bad *** in fiction Award...
  19. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    that was simply funny ....laughing thru out :RollLol:
    A nice try @ poetry though ;)
  20. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&amp;*$@*^$

    I liked it dude ..... though it didnt make nething hard........ ;) ;)

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