~Tum Yaad Aaoge~

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by BubblyMartini, Jan 29, 2006.

  1. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM


    ~Tum Yaad Aaoge~

    Jab dil ki dhadkane saath na degi
    Tum yaad aaoge
    Kuch kehke bhi keh na payege
    Tum yaad aaoge
    Bhini si khushbu kho jayegi jab mujhme
    Tum yaad aaoge

    Kuch yaad rehke bhi jab bhool jaoge
    Tum yaad aaoge
    Kahi unkahi baton main jab hum simat jayege
    Tum aaoge
    Tanhai main jab koi paas hone ka ehsaas chahege
    Tum yaad aaoge

    Na jaane hum tumhe aayege bhi ya nahi
    Dil se chahe to
    Dil bhi ho jate hai apne

    Roobaroo baitoge jab humare
    Poochoge tumhe sawaal hazaar
    Kyo yaad karte hai hum aapko har baar
    Kuch na pucha phir bhi bohot kuch bol gaye
    Sawaal na kiye jawaab phir bhi mil gaye

    Nazare khwaab main bhuji bhuji si hoti hai
    Tumhe dekhe kho jati hai
    Phir se shaam ki sunheri dhoop main
    Suraj dhalne laga
    Phir ek din kat gaya
    Aur dil aaho main mit gaya

    Yaado ka silsila yuhi chalta raha
    Har din ki tanhai raat main dhal gayi
    Subah ki pehli kiran main hoti shuruat
    Sukoon ka hota na din na hoti raat

    Jab aakhri dino main hum saason se khelege khel haseen
    Tumhari yaadon par hoga hume yakeen
    Na chodegi ye hume kabhi
    Bas sawaal kehte reh jayegi aakhen meri
    Yaad aayege hum kabhi?

    ---.--'---<@


    I donno if thats good or bad
    do gimme your honest comments.. :eek::
     
    zoomingrocket likes this.
  2. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    Excellent...
    I know wats going on in your back of the mind.. but writing the same on paper, eases up the pain!

    Keep writing...

    REgards,
    Zooom..!!
     
  3. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    good one!!
    well writen...
     
  4. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    good attempt but need lots of improvement.
     
  5. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    thanks zoom- you know i'm not very good with words;)
    @Ansh- thanks ..its jus some impromptu words put together
    @Amit-thanks--do gimme suggestions
     
  6. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    Ok, here is what you wrote...

    Yaado ka silsila yuhi chalta raha
    Har din ki tanhai raat main dhal gayi
    Subah ki pehli kiran main hoti shuruat
    Sukoon ka hota na din na hoti raat

    some how i read them as four different lines which are good alone but dont communicate the unison feeling when come together.

    Lets see if i can change them to more meaningful...

    Yaado ka silsila yuhi chalta raha
    Din ka raat se faasla aur badta raha
    Subah ki pehli kiran se hui shuruat
    sukoon se na kata din na kati raat
     
  7. write2madhur

    write2madhur dowdiegeekgizmofreak

    i wonder jab dil ki dhadkan saath na degi to kya demag chalega aur agar woh chala bhi to kya tum yaad aaoge medically not valid but yes its a good poem with lil tinge of humour in it
     
  8. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    :RollLol::RollLol::RollLol:
     
  9. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    hey thanks.. didnt know there was humour too..
    well anyways... thats Martina..thats how i am ;)

    @Amit- thanks.. i guess the whole poem needs correction.. :eek::
     
  10. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    dont get upset...its a begining and lot more to learn in the journey.
     
  11. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C

    this i can understand........:)
    i liked it babes.....
    minus the last stanza....
    looks like a different version of ~DNR~ :mad:
     
  12. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    i dont quite have a liking for that smiley --> :mad:
    but anwys..:eek::

    DNR seems to be a good topic btw;)
     
  13. abhimanjrekar

    abhimanjrekar ----&gt; Zhol-Man&lt;----

    bubbly...good one yaar........

    Tanhai main jab koi paas hone ka ehsaas chahege
    Tum yaad aaoge


    straight to my heart ......nice line...
     
  14. Amanush...

    Amanush... Tanha Rahi...!

    Martina...! I love the poem

    Some lines for you...

    karte hain mohabbat sab hi magar
    har dil ko silaa kab milta hai...?

    aati haiN bahaareN gulshan meN
    har phuul magar kab khiltaa hai...?
    (nm)

    Take care

    Amanush...

    :)
     
  15. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Thanks Abhi.. sorry Mr Cute!:)

    and thanks a lot Amanush .."i love the poem" is my line by the way
    it goes well with your poems:)

    Thanks a lot everyone..

    Take care and God Bless
     

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