Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by rohailsak, Feb 23, 2005.

  1. rohailsak

    rohailsak New Member

    Hey folks,

    Gimme ure opinion on the poem


    Tonight I think of the lonely tomorrow
    My life , unwillingly smiling away
    Glory and glare, no meaning to me
    A mysterious shadow, walking away

    Dawn of the day rises,
    Shedding tears as the night drowns
    Burning rage within my soul
    Calm as a dead ocean

    They say solitude lies within
    Like a candle burning in the wind
    A grave smelling of musk
    Blood in my veins running dry

    As I await my fate
    The devil inside me
    Whispers within my bosom
    Tonight I think of the lonely tomorrow

  2. rev

    rev New Member

    Well, you've used good words but I can't help feeling they are mismatched. I'm guessing u put a little of yourself in the poem, which is why I guess I don't understand it. Don't think I'm harsh, I'm Just a good critic.

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