Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by CrYpTiC_angel, Sep 16, 2005.

  1. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    In the cold dark corner
    Comfort, is not what I seek
    All alone with my thoughts
    And cobwebs of memories
    In the shadows today,
    I choose to remain.
    Is it okay,
    If I shine tomorrow?

    I try to cry
    But in vain
    I rest my troubled head
    On the cold window pane
    My turmoil today,
    I choose not to explain.
    Is it okay,
    If I cry tomorrow?

    This shell around me
    I ache to shatter
    I suffocate
    But does it even matter?
    The strength today,
    I do not have.
    Is it okay,
    If i break tomorrow?

    To forgive myself
    Is what I pray to learn
    Else, though I'm frozen now
    Tomorrow I might burn
    Death today,
    Is what I yearn.
    Is it okay,
    If I'm reborn tomorrow?
    nik_bokacheley likes this.
  2. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    Was tryin out a different rhyme sequence....... howz it?
  3. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    beautifully written dude....i kinda loved da third verse

    is dis ur blog btw

    i found da poem over there too :p:
  4. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    LOL ...

    seems to be a genuine case ... unlike Screwdriver ...

    kudos to u cryptic_angel ...

    i always feel that poems tell a great deal about what the person is undergoing at that particular time ...

    nice one ...
  5. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    yeah.. it is.. :)
  6. nik_bokacheley

    nik_bokacheley :help: I'm a mad :sadbye:

    Very good..Superb accor. to me..;)..Reps to you for thizz..:)
  7. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

  8. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    great...cant giv u reps but :(...i need to spread sm more...
  9. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    again the similar kinda poems ...

    somethings gone sour ... :think:
  10. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    it's d same poem i posted b4... i posted it there 2...... simple
  11. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    whatver ... same poems is subset of similar poems ... ergo ... what i said was also troo ...

  12. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    This is exactly why I love flipping back through the old pages of this forum...
    A wonderful write.The end of each stanza is so compelling..seriously,I'm out of words...
    The phrases are excellent and they simply add details to the situation..
    "Comfort, is not what I seek
    All alone with my thoughts
    And cobwebs of memories
    In the shadows today,
    I choose to remain. "
    I repeat,great.

    The only thing I failed to understand is why is she/he not willing to to change today??If you do read this,I would really like to know why..And again I'm assuming she's asking all this to herself,isn't she?
    I did not appreciate the phrase "is it okay?" because it causes a conflict of opinion (considering the reader is being asked)..I mean I would say,no its not okay if you change tomorrow b'coz tomorrow shows uncertainty..if you want something it today.But then some1 may say its okay.This of course,is assuming she's not addressing herself,in which case the above lines are meaningless.
  13. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    To answer the question (even though its not mine to answer, just my interpretation)...

    Change requires strength and will. The potrayal here is of a person whose walls have crumbled. Sometimes you want to take a moment before you move on.
  14. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    ^^No,you see I got the fact that she can't change today...its the question that bothers me...why does she ask "is it okay?" it sounds as if she wants permission (which seems a bit unnecessary,esp. if it is asked to the readers)..sort of like she's capable of changing but yet she wants approval (which contradicts your opinion).

    And forgive me for just assuming the character is a she but I don't know why I'm urged to believe its a she..

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