Time and Test !!

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Varshita, Jan 26, 2006.

  1. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    ok....This poem written by us talks about the journey of a couple....how they fall in love, how they face hardships and pass the test of time !!


    Time stood still when we first met
    we were strong but our hearts melted
    the moment we saw, in love we fell
    we bought those dreams which no one could sell
    moments passed, closer we came
    life changed and never remained the same

    Time woke up, gave us a jolt
    It seperated us and the doors were bolt
    Our hands were weak when we banged the door
    only pain was left and with days it grew evenmore
    We looked upon the time to give an answer
    But time was a question which needed an answer

    Days went by and so did months
    we closed all our fighting fronts
    suddenly the time woke us up and made us realise
    that we were not, but he was wise
    he revealed that he was not time but the test
    and we have done what could have been the best

    Time asked the test to pardon us and leave
    we have been through a lot and passed the seive
    Time smiled and held our hands
    gave us a hug and joined our hands

    When we curse our times in grief and despair
    Its only time in disguise as a miracle that appears
    We love our time now even more
    thank our test to have brought us on shore
     
  2. mocktail

    mocktail New Member

    good work

    it a nice poem
    some thing ive not heard before
    a very optimistic ending
    cheers keep it up
     
  3. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    "our hearts got melt"? C'mon, you can do better than that. Apart from that it's a good poem. Full of abstract imagery. Well done, i wonder what this poem can be classified as, hmmm, i have to think.
     
  4. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    Despite our holding back of emotions....." our hearts got melt" has been used for a special connotation.. which only me or he can understand.

    Anyways .,... thanks !! :)
     
  5. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Well, i didnt know that. I thought it was just wrong english and i was doing my job! *sulks in a corner* (yeah, i love corners)
     
  6. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    u need not sulk in a corner, that IS wrong english :)

    @varshita

    it should be "hearts got melted" or if u wanna end the line with "melt" then i'd suggest "we were strong but our hearts did melt"

    nice poem though :)
     
  7. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    *peeks from corner, see "hearts got melted", sighs and goes back*
     
  8. Evo Guy 911

    Evo Guy 911 Banned

    ^^^^ lolz..... disturbed, u rock man! HEY PUBLIC!!! Whats with "hearts melted"???? U can add together afterwards if u must, but do u really love the word GOT??? Avoid it, its a baad kid!!!
     
  9. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    hey varsh.... nice poem gal..!
     
  10. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    :Worried: still wrong? *goes n sits in the opposite corner*
     
  11. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    offfoooooooooooooo!! :mad:

    @disturbed and cryptic ......happy now??

    @ nimisha ... thank you... by the way... you didnt have any probs with " hearts got melt"??

    @notty.... i know u didnt post here... but see i m following your instructions for not spamming !! :)
     
  12. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    nice concept and execution

    loved the rhyming...
     
  13. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    Thank you.... @wizzy
     
  14. UjSen

    UjSen *#!EVIL*!!

    Someone Teach Me Poetry!!!!!!!!!!
     
  15. slash_i_m

    slash_i_m Laid to Rest

    u write poems also:shock:anyways i don't hav the patiens to read it.might be good.:p:alright it is.
     
  16. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    lol@uj sen

    @slash.... yeah i m an expert in boring people !!
     
  17. slash_i_m

    slash_i_m Laid to Rest

    hehe :mad:
     
  18. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    *gets up from corner, looks at angel, walks over, gives her a BIG hug, and we come back and live (not necessarily together) happily ever after, the end*
     
  19. Varshita

    Varshita New Member

    And no chocolates for me?? :mad:
     
  20. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    pat on your back babe, good work....
     

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