Three Short Verses

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vanhouten, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. vanhouten

    vanhouten New Member

    Love they have said is all you need
    To live and die and live in peace
    But for me it's a deadly weed
    For I am in love with the beast.

    Methought I knew the answer of her gaze
    Sitting, dreaming, thinking of long-gone days
    But as I looked up; expecting a grin
    I saw tears roll down her pretty chin.

    Ghosts I have buried of my wicked past
    Yet they haunt me, and still pursue across
    And when at nights I go to bed at last
    I dream of the day I killed my sad boss

    Comments, please?
    Subhro likes this.
  2. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    very nice dude....i liked the 1st verse alot....
  3. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Nice, but i didn't get the last verse. The last line to be specific. Could you explain?
  4. gautam_njoy

    gautam_njoy New Member

    hey the first one was awesome.. liked that a lot
  5. tejas

    tejas ..........

    Stupid me. Ignore my earlier comment.
  6. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    I liked all of em except the last one bcoz i couldnt understand it,

    Can you explain???
  7. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Nice poem dude, really good, i liked it a lot:)
  8. vanhouten

    vanhouten New Member

    Well, I hate explaining the meaning of poems because everyone is entitled to personal interpretation. But ok Ill try to explain. The three verses though separate can be linked to the same story.

    Imagine these scenes -

    A girl is in love.

    The man she loves is a criminal.

    He killed his employer.

    The girl knows the truth.

    Yet she loves him.

    And he knows that.

    They both love each other but still are not happy together.
  9. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    wait a the poem from the gurls prespective.....cause if it is then, how can she have the dreams bout killing his boss.....if it is from the guyz prespective then how come he says he is in love w/ a beast....?....:confused: please explain?
  10. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    hey dude, van... a sincere request from me, pls don't explain your poems, leave them open to interpretation. it's more fun that way.
  11. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    ^^^^true...but can some1 answer my questions ....
  12. esgallindeion

    esgallindeion Minstrel Knight

    I think its from both perspectives, dp... the first one is the girl talking. the second n third is the guy.

    I think this whole concept of three random unrelated verses is pretty cool, especially when u can make a story out of it.

    @ maverick, can you blame him for explaining after a couple of people requested an explanation? ;)
  13. rev

    rev New Member

    As esgallindeion said, it's really awesome how you have given three perspectives. Wonderfully put together. Though, it's a shame you had to explain it.
    You may wanna make the last line of the third verse a little more subtle. For the sake of rhyme, don't sacrifice rhythm ( This is the critic speaking).
  14. Subhro

    Subhro Argentina lost :"(

    nice stuff vanhouten !!!!! :) givin u reps.. :)

    and ya.. don try n xplain ur stuff ... its more fun tht way !! :)
    nyways gr8 stuff :rock:

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