Three More Verses

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by vanhouten, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. vanhouten

    vanhouten New Member

    I woke at two and saw the sun at night
    From thence did come a golden light so bright
    I smiled despite in doom my mind did dwell
    For the hole was so small in my prison cell.

    I flew a kite and saw it rise
    Up above all the trees so high
    It soared up till the clouds it wed
    For I had let go of the thread.

    At night I heard a wailing sound
    I thought it came from 'neath the ground
    A man below was lying dead
    I touched my face, my hands were red
  2. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    :shock: Wow, amazing, this like.....some kinda....sting in the tale, O'henry type poetry. Sorry, layman's language. I hope it conveys my feelings.
  3. vanhouten

    vanhouten New Member

    Cool, glad you think so. :) I love writing short verses.
  4. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Looking forward to more from you, dude, really, i'm not just saying that:)
  5. rev

    rev New Member

    uh....this is not entirely disconnected from the " three verses" is it?
    It's really wonderful to read such a metre. Why don't you try stringing all six and make it one? It would come out pretty fine.

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