Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by horsesmouth, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    I thought of you when I was happy,
    I thought of you when I was sad.
    Your memory is like the horizon;
    Chasing it makes me wonder,
    If you are really there,
    waiting on the other side.

    My thoughts are like kites,
    My thoughts are like trains,
    Running unrestrained over rivers
    and dark gorges,
    and between snow clad mountains.

    But they return to me in the end,
    As if because the earth is round.
    They never really listen to me,
    They can never truly be bound.

    I thought of you when i was happy,
    I thought of you when i was sad.
    My mornings and evenings went the same way,
    'til the day I finally died.

    Comments and critiques?? anyone!
  2. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    no comments?........bad, is it?
  3. i think .... it not bad ...may be written in a hurry
  4. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    yep, dats ryt...wonder how you figured it out..
  5. metalhead_junky

    metalhead_junky New Member

    great poem man!
  6. soumya256

    soumya256 New Member

    nice one...
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^hey thnx li'l sweety......

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