The Guy's Rules

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by paranoid13rohan, Jun 11, 2006.

  1. paranoid13rohan

    paranoid13rohan .: iNDiaN iDioT 3.0 :.

    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down...

    Finally, we get the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules "
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!

    Please note: these are all numbered "1"

    1. Men ARE not mind readers.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..

    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as politics, baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. :beer:
    jocelyn likes this.
  2. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    old stuff

    still holds true
  3. rose_frm_hell

    rose_frm_hell Banned

    cool...........every pt is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. rose_frm_hell

    rose_frm_hell Banned

    cool...........every pt is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    espeacially da colombus and da toilet seat 1!!!!!!!!!

    Keep it up!!!!
  5. Guitar boy

    Guitar boy New Member

    Ya, we piss over it ;)
  6. lord_neo

    lord_neo Guest

    Quite true, girls should learn from this! *runs for cover*
  7. jocelyn

    jocelyn New Member

    +1 Nice one every point Valid...... I thin I am going to give you reps... :)
  8. dennis

    dennis The Bhangra King

    And you crap standing up??
  9. Guitar boy

    Guitar boy New Member

    ^ no, sit above it - indian style :RollLol:

    Abhimanjrekhar was discussing this on a seperate thread I believe, experts :p:
  10. dirt_nectar

    dirt_nectar New Member

    Add this one too-

    It hurts if we get kicked in our balls. :)

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