the first look

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by nandy0894, Jan 27, 2014.

  1. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    the sun shown bright on her face
    illuminating every feature
    imparting it more grace
    the long thick lashes challenging the stability of my breath
    the lustrous pink lips made me insane
    the big brown eyes screamed for attention and depth
    i stood there frozen staring at the angel, innate
    what was she? an angel? a devil?
    she couldn't be human, definitely not
    from a distance it seemed i traveled her soul
    i knew it when she flipped her long black mane
    she was the devil
    a devil unnamed
    a devil untamed
    refuting in her sheer beauty
    i stood still
    she went away
    blinking away my world away
    with a single sway
    a simple gaze became the thirst of my life
    for a night i was there
    hypnotized by the innocence
    the laugh was magic
    and i was captivated
    the first look took my heart away
    and it never then came back
    stayed there forever
    content in the anonymity
    not trying to overcome
    the thirst of that gaze..
     
  2. Nice poetry ... a girl looking at a much better girl ..am i right?
     
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  3. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    lol
    naaah..that's from a guy's point of view :)
    i am perfectly straight..though i wont mind appreciating another girl's beauty :)
     
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  4. Super-Admin

    Super-Admin Administrator Staff Member

    The way others see is always fascinating :)..

    Nice one Nandy :) ..

    @Monica - Some of your work are outstanding ...
     
  5. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    definitely!
    and thank you :)
     
  6. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    I was confused in these four lines...
    -refute doesn't seem to match the line, or maybe i can't interpret it.
    -and 'away' needs to be corrected away... :p

    nice lines...

    And I'm quite sure while writing this you imagined a guy looking at yourself when you would be in your full flair...

    am I right? :p
     
  7. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    I don't think it happens this way.
    The intuitive meter in a guy evaluates the whole picture, sets the tongue wagging, and then the conscious brain justifies by seeing eyes/lips/stuff etc
     
  8. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    hahaha..i did exactly that ;)
    and thank you :)
     
  9. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    well in that case human brain acts pretty fast..
    so technically this isn't the "first" look according to you ..
     
  10. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    Yea, I do remember my teenage years...you're right..definitely! ;-)
    and frankly, still don't know whether it was love or infatuation.
     

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