The Endless Street

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Feb 11, 2007.

  1. #iR@


    hi guys... logging on after quite a long time... good to see more poems on IGT! :) and yea... me back wid something new too... something to torture u guys! MUWAHAHAHAHHAHA! *feels stupid* ANYWAY... so here goes something that i rote last nite... was trapped in some mixed emotions... God knows how i even came up wid this poem... here goes...


    Alone i walk
    on this endless road
    hoping to find someone i know

    i look around
    and its all dark
    scared- i walk alone
    hoping that theres an end to this road

    i drag myself through this endless street
    this is where we said we'll meet
    oh come on! i have waited enough
    now i am scared of not finding you

    all i see are strangers
    strangers-like me and you
    i don't even know at which turn i'll find you
    so i am stopping here
    cause i can't go on
    i think i have waited enough

    i lost whatever little i owned
    the day i entered this street
    i don't think i have a reason to live
    since we didn't meet

    i really dont know wat to do
    so i think its time to say good-bye
    but if u find me lying on this road someday
    just try ur luck
    and hold my hand
    i MIGHT just regain life...

    like always... dying to hear ur comments! ;)
    nimisha, Garima and vini like this.
  2. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    I didn't think it was great. It was missing the flow that you usually have. I can't actually find anything wrong with what you've written yet I don't think I actually like it.

    I like the thought. God knows I was going through the same thing a week or so ago. I suppose I just learnt to deal with it. Why did you even write this. You're not supposed to be anything but your usual bubbly self. Don't you go emo. That's my job.
  3. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    needless to say that u have expressed very well...the title is also very apt!though u were trapped in mixed emotions but the message ur poem puts across is very clear and very idiosyncratic (to me..atleast :) )

    simple line but a deep connotation!

    Hmm..good poem..reps
  4. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto poems...
    I loved the title.The title for me is the soul of the poem in a nutshell and is most of the times the reason for me reading the poem.

    That being said,I loved the poem too.The stanzas effectively depict the theme of the poem but I don't like the overall dependency and insecurity the character shows.I mean there is a feeling of surrender sort of "I can't live without you"
    which contradicts the title "The Endless Street" which indicates you are constantly moving on...

    "but if u find me lying on this road someday" is the line which perhaps contradicts the title and "i MIGHT just regain life... " brings it to an oddly/unnecessarily negative end..I'd perhaps prefer if he/she moved on.
    But I'm not sure if the contradiction was on purpose...

    In short:
    I loved the poem but I felt it contradicts the title to some extent.
  5. #iR@


    @ bjr...thx for the comments man...FINALLY SOMEONE GIVES ME AN HONEST opinion of wat i rote! hehe and seriously speaking i didn't even realise wat i was riting... oh and wat u said about me being myself thats bubbly... u wont believe it but it actually made me go like :shock: cause u reminded me of wat ma friends say... and according to them out of 365 days in a year... IF i am NOT depressed/lost in my thoughts for like more than 5 days ITS A MIRICLE FOR THEM! lol

    @ vini... hehe thx a lot for reading ma work and for the reps and u won;t believe it but the lines that u qouted were ma fav too :)

    @ i am not neo... hmmmmmm... now ur comments actually made me think about wat i rote... i never thought that wat i had ritten was something contradicting... i agree it was something different than wat i usually rite... well its all about how u look at it... thanks for the appreciation ;)
  6. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    I, unlike some very anal elite f*ck3rs (bjr), liked it very much. I think it was a very simple poem and i didnt find it contradictory. But seriously honey, at this point in your poetic career, dont uses phrases like "oh come on". Seriously, let's leave that to britney spears.
  7. #iR@


    ^hahahhaaa... *actually laughing* thx man... ur comments MAKE MA DAY! seriously! :)
  8. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    yes, we all know you've got the hots for me but someone else has my heart.
  9. #iR@


    ^ spamming on ma thread atleast:eek::

    hehe :p:

    @ Garima... thx a lot gurl for ur support! seriously... i luv watever u have to say about ma work! =)
  10. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Hmmm...reading my reply made ME wonder're right,its how you look at the poem and its actually not contradicting,atleast I didn't feel it to be today.
    I just wrote that it felt contradictory to the first assumption of what the poem may be about which was not really necessary when you're appreciating a poem...
    So the poem is perfectly lovely..
  11. #iR@


    ^yipeeeeeeeeee! :) lol... well yea as i said its how u look at it... thx a lot man for giving it a second reading! *smiles*
  12. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    My comments make people read your poem twice:cool: I'll take cash please.

    @beejayarr, no.

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